Before I Kick the Bucket

Sometime ago Larissa at Papa is a Preacher discussed the concept of Buckets lists, or at least my mush of a brain seems to recall commenting on something vaguely along those lines before and of course can I find the post....nope!!

Any way, fragments of this along with the last few weeks have had me re-evaluating the concept of a bucket list. I have always had ambitions, a wish list of things I wanted to do....at some point. The concept of a bucket list, however, always seemed a bit morbid to me. But as I eluded to in my last post I have been converted to the advantages of bucket list.

So last week I began by choosing the perfect notebook from my considerable stash (come on admit it we all have a stack of notebooks waiting for that perfect project....don't we?) And I started to note down the memories I want to make; mostly with my girls, some are just for me and others to make with other half or friends. I have to admit the list has started to get a little long, already!

So far I have 20 items on the list, ranging from 'visit a pick your own fruit farm with the girls' to 'attend a masquerade ball' via 'keep a daily journal'. I have been adding items almost daily and have even managed to tick a few off. So in one of my brain waves I have decided to add another page to my blog to keep a track of how my bucket list is shaping up. Click here to see what is on there, you can even help me fulfil one or two if you like, I have a feeling I am going to be a very busy bunny, I may need the help!!

Don't run out of time, make every second count! A philosophy to live life by. Have you ticked anything off your list lately?

Hello Ma'am, this is your wake up call!

"But I don't recall requesting a wake up call??"

"No Ma'am this is one that Life thought you were over due!"

The phone is hung up and I sit for a while contemplating what was just said with what can only be described as a 'derp' face.

* Warning the following post is extremely self indulgent. A bunch of feelings that I have to get of my chest for my own sanity feel free to discontinue reading here!*

For those of you that know me or connect with me on various social media sites you will know I have been a little under the weather recently. Ok so pending abdominal surgery and a four week headache isn't your average common cold but there are other people worse than me!! This knowledge, however, has not stopped the inevitable mortality wake up call.

There are some things in life that make us realise we are only human; our bodies are built to fail, we have an expiration date - we just don't know when it is (would it be better if the date was stamped on our ass like a tin of beans?? A long debate I may come back to, at some point!)

Quick history of Sleepy Joe, I may have already written about this but can't remember how much detail I gave, any way....I was 6 when my Dad became ill, an inoperable brain tumour caused by some lymphoma type caner (I have never really asked for the technical details, at the time I was too young.) All I knew at the time was Dad was really poorly, he needed help dressing and with his meds, which nurse Sleepy was happy to assist with!! My parents didn't keep anything from me and that made it easier to deal with when two years later he passed on to a better place. Mum and I survived for a while and then thrived and I have an amazing family of my own now, our loss lingers and hurts from time to time but life goes on.

Back to the here and now; I have been eating painkillers like sweeties for four weeks (for the headache), all the standard things have been ruled out and I have graduated on to the big boy tests like CT scans etc... I have no doubt that there will be some kind of simple explanation for my headaches and associated dizziness / visual disturbance. In the meantime the human brain cannot help but think the worst, especially when I have had to stop doing most of the things I love and when there are some really close comparisons to be had, yeah stopping there!

In a couple of weeks when all the tests are done and all has settled in the head of Sleepy I will look back on these few weeks and be thankful. Why? Because it it has been my wake up call, I have realised what is important; it's not the things I do that make me happy, it's the people I share them with that elicit a smile.

The sun shining in the garden, working hard digging out weeds and helping things grow, yet it's that quick glance at my girls giggling that makes me happy. Watching a good film is nice, what makes it a truly great film is sharing it with my cousin or curling up with other half enjoying nibbles and laughing at the stupid parts. A walk in the woods or up on the moors is lovely, the ones I remember were in great company. Writing a great story means nothing if someone doesn't read it and enjoy it.

What ever happens I am dying; be it 10 years or 50 years (hopefully longer) it will happen one day. I don't know about you but I want to look back and say I did all I wanted to, I lived every minute and I didn't miss a moment of what is important. So if that means cutting back on time sapping activities to focus on my babies, if it means ignoring the ironing to write the story floating in my mind, so be it. I am alive now and there are so many experiences I have yet to have, so many things I want to share with my girls, maybe it's about time I write them down to makes sure nothing is missed! I will be thankful for this wake up call, it has made me wake up to what is really important to me.

I'm off to listen to some great music and write my bucket list. What's top of your list?

In the mean time please stick with me, I will post when I can but writing this one has done me in for today! Love you all and hope all is well what ever you are doing!

It's time to prioritise

So the last time I sat down and seriously wrote was the beginning of January. Pathetic for a supposed writer, right? In the mean time I have tried to cram way too many other things into my already measly free time! Sketching, painting, photography, typewriter restoration and just plain reading oh and..... you get the picture! I am not giving anything my all any more and this just makes me sad.

From now on you are going to be getting a little less of me. I am going to drop down to posting once a week (pause for the celebrations). I don't want to stop posting altogether because basically I'm scared that this little blog is the only thing that keeps me writing. It's just about time I woke up and smelt the coffee, no-one is going to give me a handy extra couple of hours a day so I am going to have to find time myself!

Lets say farewell thee well to Tuesday Tunes/Tuesday Tickles with one clip that gives a little of both.

Here's hoping you stick with me for a while!

The Middle Princess

“Once upon a time in a far away land.....”

Who am I kidding? I’m sorry this story can’t begin in such a misleading way. This is no fairy tale; there is no way to dress this tale up or skim over the brutality of this story. I am afraid we must just jump in with both feet.

Kennis was a beautiful baby; a Princess by birth and the middle of twelve daughters to a harsh King. Yep, ‘The’ twelve Princesses; you know the story, dance all night and worn out shoes. I digress, when the Princesses came of age it became apparent that Kennis was unique. Her Father worried that he would not be able to marry her off and so jumped at the first marriage proposal thrown in her direction. The proposal came from a not so desirable Knight, with a reputation for treating his women (and there were many) badly. But the King was harsh, the Knights prowess on the battlefield was legendary and his daughter was dutiful.

Fast forward five years...

“Wench.”

“Wench.”

“Where the hell are you? Get out here; it’s about time you gave me with a son.”

She could hear him crashing through the rooms of her prison, getting closer.

Kennis suffered this every night when Kellen was not away defending the kingdom, she suffered his brutal force with grace. Never once allowing him to see the true affect he was having on her; destroying her soul, taking it piece by piece. 

When Kellen had had his fill of her and the ale had finally lulled him into a deep slumber Kennis slipped out of the bed chamber and into the cool moonlight. There she screamed into the night, she let her tears carry away her pain. She called out the name that had dominated her dreams for as long as she could remember; the name of her Prince that would come and save her someday, the Prince who wore out her shoes.

Exhausted, her face wet from tears, Kennis collapsed into the still warm grass. The thought of ending this torture once and for all was dancing around her mind; when a sudden draft beat across her bare skin. Then again; a cool respite from the summer heat. Kennis looked up wanting to cool her face. At first she couldn’t make out the figure before her though her tears, it was huge and were those wings?

“Devyn?”

Forgive me for I have sinned!

Any book lover will tell you that there are certain rules to handling books, I do not claim that this is by any means a definitive list but my top irks are definitely listed:

1. Thou shalt not rip pages from books for any reason, other than to fuel a fire in the event of an unexpected ice age.

2. Thou shalt not spill liquids of any kind onto the pages of a book, even if you disagree with the contents.

3. Thou shalt not write on the pages of a book, even when trying to break a coded message hidden within.

4. Thou shalt be responsible and protect the bound pages from all animals; seriously would you like to be chewed!

5. Thou shalt not fold any pages; find a bookmark you lazy sod.

6. Thou shalt not break a books spine. Seriously, does this need explanation??

7. Thou shalt not use a book for anything other than reading; they are not door stops, paperweights or height increasers.

8. Thou shalt not use a book as a flotation device; paper and water don't mix!

9. Thou shalt not lock a book in a case; they are to be enjoyed.

10. Thou shalt return another's book, unless instructed otherwise.

Confessional

Forgive me book lovers, this week I have sinned.....I have drawn in a book!

I am currently waiting for the lightening to strike, for karma to kick me in the ass....or even worse kick a friend or loved one in the ass. That said if your inbox is suddenly filled with messages from me with increasingly panicked 'ARE YOU ALRIGHT' type subjects....please reply and put me out of my misery. I would hate for someone to suffer wrathful vengeance for a wrong I have committed against a book! 

Did Kerri Smith know how her books would challenge people and their belief systems? It may be titled "THIS IS NOT A BOOK." But if it looks like a book and smells like a book....it's a book.

Somebody help me....I think I will have a breakdown by the time I a faced with a 'rip out this page' task.

What is challenging you this week?

This week's inspiration.....

Sometimes a challenge is throw down and it tickles something in your subconscious ....you can make something out of this. There is a story to be had in this prompt; somewhere, somehow!

And then, something else clicks into place. Suddenly you see the whole story, feel the characters emotions and they are born in your mind; to pester you until you allow them to live their lives on the page.

The prompt from my writers group....bwahahaha, I'm not telling you that bit. At least not yet anyway!

The added extra?

Now I just have to kick this sorry ass into gear and write.....

What is your inspiration this week?

Superhero, me?!?! Ha, that one is funny!!

I started my adventure with Kerri Smith a few weeks ago and after letting you lovely peeps to choose which task I would complete first this is where we left off.

To be honest I have spent the last few days wondering how the hell I was going to complete this task. I don't have a particularly great view of myself, I am not confident in anything I do.....I am just great at putting up a front! It really has been a challenge to look inward; to define my personality traits, to find the ones that could be exaggerated and turned into super powers. Oh and then there was the 'create a avatar', that part was just scary!

Until today. Our last family day out of the Easter holidays had us heading off to the Legoland Discovery Centre. The trip was less than inspiring, fun for passing an hour or so but expensive for what it had to offer! The best part came in the shop and the mini-me station. Two minutes later my superhero avatar was born.

Now it's just a case of what she can do.

A slice of my fruitcake

Those of you that have followed me for a while know I love way too easily and way too deeply; people, things, art, books, films...you name it I can fall for it. You will also know that I love nature and being out and about; the tranquillity, the solitude, the inspiration. That is also where I am at my best as a dreamer; I dream so much when I am walking that sometimes I can't remember walking the path I have just come along. Finally I have spent a fairly good proportion of my life feeling invisible and trying to compensate, therapy anyone??

How do these traits along with my resourcefulness (read here nothing is trash, everything has a use I just haven't found it yet!) and productivity under pressure (read here always at the last minute with everything) combine to make a superhero?? 

Meet Brid

Image courtesy of morguefile.com

"Have you seen her then."

"Yeah, course I have."

"You haven't."

"They say that flowers grow wherever she walks."

"No-one has seen her though, she is invisible unless she wants you to see her and they say she makes things appear out of no-where."

"Now you are just making things up, things don't appear out of no-where."

"The very ground and trees and air give them to her, my Mum said!"

"What are you two talking about?"

"Whoa mum....seriously don't sneak up on people."

"So boys, what you talking about out here?"

"Brid, Mrs Brown. Have you ever seen her?"

"Yes and aside from being beautiful her love for all things is matched only by the wrath born down on anyone  who doesn't do as they are told"

"Wow, did she shot someone with her bow?"

"Did she make anything appear?"

"Charlie, home time! Ben, inside and wash up"

"Awwww, Muuuum"

"Now please, or do I have to go call out to Brid?"

First challenge down, which page next?? Does anyone else think this could become addictive?

This song has been going round in my head for the last few days....so now it's your turn ;-) Biffy Clyro - Machines