The Mind is a Warzone! Always Keep Fighting

I have tried to write a post...this post...and then just any post, countless times over the last few months. So many of them I approached the subject sideways, with analogies and metaphors. Once I even used a sports metaphor complete with curve balls and getting hit straight on. The thing is none of them seemed to get across what I wanted to say, none of them conveyed what I was feeling. I kept hoping that writing would help me work through things, but every time I started it got more and more knotted up. In the end I had to step away for a while. Things are a little better now, so now is the time to get back on the horse, maybe this time without too many metaphors though, and add in this most recent chapter in the life of Sleepy Joe.

About three months ago I ended up off work having been diagnosed with anxiety and depression and getting to the point I could no longer cope with daily life. In all honesty it had been building up for a while; stress on stress on stress plus some changes and uncertainty equals the last straw on the camels back (see I can't help myself) and I broke. There were tears enough to fill an ocean and guilt like I have never felt because surely I was letting the world down if I stopped for a moment. But more, I was lost. I had no idea who idea who I was anymore.

I once thought of myself as strong and capable woman but I found myself scared and a wreck just going into a supermarket. There were days where I couldn't face leaving the house or answering the phone and the thought of going to work terrified me. I felt like a failure, like some weak thing that could no longer cope (sometimes I still do) and I think that horrified me even more. And tired, so so tired. Every day was (and sometimes is) a battle with my mind over which voice would win; the one telling me not to do something because I would get it wrong or the one telling me what a failure I was because I'd already messed up.

The first few panic attacks had scared me and my Other Half had seen me withdrawing so he 'encouraged' me to seek help and by the time I broke completely I had worked my way up the list for Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. It sounds weird but I think the best way I can describe it is a healthy eating package for your mental health. The fabulous lady I have been seeing over twelve or so weeks has helped me to look at all the unhealthy ways I think about things, in particular with regard to my anxiety and panic attacks. She has helped me see that life is not black OR white - control OR out of control - strong OR weak. I have come to realise I don't hold others to the same standards I was holding myself to "be perfect or you've failed" "be in control or you're weak". It's a cliche but I now understand why I am the way I am, what experiences from my past have shaped me and reinforced my beliefs to mean I got stuck in a cycle of panic because at the end of the day being anxious sometimes is a normal human response, getting stuck in those feelings probably isn't so helpful.

I have made peace with the fact I am always going to feel like this; I am going to have low moments, I am going to over analyse, I will probably beat myself up about things that I cannot control, and I will probably panic. The difference now? I know how to handle it, it won't handle me!

When I started the therapy one of my goals was "to feel like me again" and it's strange because I don't feel like the me I used to be. I don't think that I will ever be that me again. For quite a while I have identified with a song (pinned in below) and a line in it says, "If I recover will you take me back again." I thought all this time that I needed to 'get well' and get back to being what I was because I was ill. I have come to realise now that yes anxiety and depression, like other mental health issues/illnesses, are illnesses. They are diseases of the mind. But they are ones from which you never fully recover, you just learn how to handle it, how to live a more mentally healthy life. I will never be that me again because that me never ran a day in her life, this me runs three times a week to get head space and stay calm/sane. I will never be that me because that me tried to write a journal every day but could never quite maintain it, this me has to to clear out the mental baggage and to see her achievements on a daily basis. There will be more differences because I'm still a little lost trying to figure out who I am in all this but I'll get there.

None of us have any issue talking about our latest healthy lifestyle craze do we?! Healthy eating; #leanin15, juices or 5:2 Fitness; spinning, burpees or the latest gym membership. Why then can we not feel free to chat about our mental health too? Why does that have to break down before we decide to take our mental well being for a healthy spin? One of my biggest fears at the peak of my problems was the social response I would get to having a panic attack in public. That people would think I was weak/stupid/silly, that I just needed to pull myself together when in fact I had little control over it at that point. And I know I am not the only person with fears of this nature. Would it be like this if we talked about it a bit more? If we talked Sinceriously.

From the Stephen Amell Represent campaign see here

I feel lucky. I have my family; my Other Half and my Munchkins and although it's been hard I have not seen the bottom, I know I didn't get that low and help was there when I needed it. There are people not so fortunate and that's where we fail as a society to look after each other. 

Finally in the words of Jared Padalecki, who has openly spoken about his fight with depression, 

Always Keep Fighting!

Wanderlust

Today's writing prompt....I know, I know don't all faint at once I'm actually writing it today! 

As well as the picture above, a product of Sabrina's Etsy shopping I believe (someone correct me if I'm wrong) Caitlyn added the rest of the quote (oh and head over to her blog she has a giveaway!)

"All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost." 
— J.R.R. Tolkien (The Fellowship of the Ring (The Lord of the Rings, #1))

I wander, and I get lost. But often I do it on purpose. I've just had a quick look and I can't believe I haven't written about this before!

I find cities are the best for this, I remember a particularly fruitful adventure in Newcastle. I had time to kill and nothing special to do so I set off in one direction and walked. I found the most amazing shop stocked with local handmade crafts and another that sold delicious whoopie pies.

The secret to getting lost is to allow yourself time. Never be pushed for time or you will panic. Always have an escape plan, smart phones are great for this (though I try not to fall back on mine if I can). Talking to people is unheard of these days I know, but seriously how do you think folks managed before we had our noses super-glued to a screen. Speaking of which, your best friends when getting lost are your eyes. Look around you, aside from seeing some of the most amazing things you will pick up the landmarks you will need to find your way back.

After saying all that I only managed to get lost once on my recent trip to London and I only had an hour to make it out. This particular occasion I didn't do it on purpose so I felt no guilt using said smart phone to navigate my way to Big Ben, however fate would have the last say doing so killed my battery! That little excursion did take me on an unexpected trip past St James' park which was pretty so I wasn't disappointed!

Where I did allow my wandering side free reign was in the galleries and museums I visited, even on a trip into St Pancras station. My eyes looked up and found art not just framed and on the wall but on the ceiling too.

This was one of my favourite pieces of ceiling art at The Courtland Institute Gallery.

I continued to look around and I found amazing architecture, not just the exhibits I had come to see.

One of my many favourite parts of the Victoria & Albert museum (hastily snapped as it is in the entrance hall and it was really busy that day!). Try to let the sculpture fade away and look around it, the building is just as beautiful...and massive. If there is ever a building to get lost in in London the V&A is the place to do it, so many places to hide in awe and wonder.

Finally, for you at least because this is only a whistle stop tour of my wanderings, St Pancras Station. The place that wasn't on my plan, the place we nipped into on a whim. The place of any wanderers dreams...The one that steals your heart. I will visit again, I may even eat in the booking office restaurant and truly soak up the atmosphere. If I am really lucky I might one day get to stay in the St Pancras Hotel (that one really is the thing of dreams). For now I will leave you with my snaps of St Pancras.

'Not all who wander are lost' but some of us get lost to discover something and maybe ourselves along the way. Don't forget to look to the clouds every now and again, you never now what you might see.

Your Shadow

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Looking at photos of me as a baby, seeing photos of you mixed in. Just your shadow remains. The spectre of who you were, of what we did together, of what we could have done. 

But even that is fading now, I really know so little about you. My connections to you are slipping away, like the sun sliding behind the hills. One day will I find my self not remembering you? One day will even your shadow be gone? For now I will keep shining the flood lights on your life and throwing your shadow across mine.

Will my life cast a shadow as far reaching as yours?

Just a quick one today while I'm exploring London. Thanks for these awesome prompts Leah!

Just a chip

view original here

You have probably seen on the wider tinternet the meme or short conversation that can be view in full at the above link...the general gist is; if you smash a plate, then say sorry, will that fix it?

Now I've worked with the public since leaving university so I have developed somewhat of a thick skin. Don't get me wrong, once upon a time peoples comments did cut through me like a samurai sword through butter, leaving me shredded and  lifeless. I came to realise after a while that most people were venting about their own situations and not being purposefully mean or hurtful. Slowly their comments and sideways glances started to wash over me until I stopped noticing them at all.

Few people still have the power to wound me with one comment; take me down like a plate from a shelf and shatter me. Sometimes if I'm lucky they just chip a corner and leave me functional; whole but damaged.

Mostly these aren't people who intentionally want to break me...but does that make it any less hurtful? An analogy I know Tangled Lou will appreciate (because I know she hoards mugs), is it any less upsetting when you accidentally drop and smash your favourite mug?

The only problem is, attempted breakages from strangers at work (in the past mostly) or from "friends" when I was younger where ten-a-penny. Even when they had an effect on me picking myself up from those was easy. But how do you pick yourself up from the surprise attack that cuts deep? The one you didn't see coming, the one that's left you doubting and questioning yourself for the first time in a long time. I'm not sure I know that answer to this one!

Be careful which plates you chose to smash, it may be someones hard earned confidence!

One of my favourite songs in a new found acoustic version :-)

A Hard Lesson to Learn

The response from my eldest munchkin. "Mum I hate it, it doesn't suit you!"

The response from my youngest munchkin. "Wow Mum, you have mermaid hair!"

And the best response from a stranger in the street - "Did you have a fight with a Slush Puppie machine?"

With a million other comments in between. Who would have thought striking another thing off my buckets list would elicit such wonderful conversations with such a wide variety of people.

When I was younger I spent a good proportion of my time conflicted between trying to express myself and trying to fit in. Eventually fitting in won out, growing up seemed more important somehow than frivolous things like dying my hair a strange colour or an extra ear piercing.

Now I'm a little older and a lot more confident (though that isn't hard and I'm still not all that confident) I have come to realise there is becoming an adult, that part is inevitable, but one does not ever have to grow up! Why shouldn't I dye my hair, no matter how old I am? Call it a mid-life crisis if you like, though I personally am saving that until I'm 40 and then I can go riding a motorbike. No it wasn't for a bet. I just want to live my life with no regrets.

I've had a few conversations where people have told me, 'I wish I had your guts.' My reply to them is just go for it, it's worth it. However the best conversation my wild hair do has sparked has been with my eldest munchkin. It has been a great way to tackle the whole concept of acceptance with her. She may not like what I have done, but then she doesn't have to...I did it for me and no one else. At nine she has barely started to push the boundaries with us as parents. My mother thinks she is beyond shocking but in truth I haven't ever pushed that hard either. But I explained to my little munchkin, who I am steadfastly denying will be hitting a decade in this world next month, that at some point she will want to express herself. And when that time comes I will support her in anyway I can....within reason (hey I'm not completely stupid as a parent!)

If there is one thing that comes from this item being crossed off my bucket list, I hope it is that my kids confidently chose to be themselves in whatever they do as they get older...but never grow up completely!

(If you can't beat 'em join 'em heh?)

The only question remaining, what colour next?

Demons

You know sometimes I think I'd rather fight this

Or even

Than face some of my own inner demons!!

I try most days to face them, as I'm sure most of us do, but lately I find myself escaping into various fantasy worlds. Absorbing the words of other authors, book after book every spare moment just to escape. Avoid the housework, sidestep those nagging demons that weigh inside.

Today was a day I set out to face them, and I failed miserably again. I gave one particularly ugly looking and abusive demon a sideways glance but then ran in the opposite direction. His weaker brother I managed to face. I kicked him in the goolies and even though he distracted me from the sidelines a blog post was written, not as eloquently as I would have liked but a seemingly insurmountable hurdle at one point was overcome. I wonder though how long it will be before he is back to full strength?

One demon though shocked me with the ferocity of it's attack. A once caged and bound beast that broke free of its bonds to strike today, knocking me flat and pinning me to the floor. The only problem being, this demon is one I really don't mind pinning me to the floor even though I know in my heart of hearts its truly no good for me.

I need to remember the days when I dreamt of being a Slayer, defeating the things that haunted me. Back then things were simple, back then I wasn't fighting myself!

How do you fight your inner demons? Can you ever free yourself of them or does another rise as fast as you cut one down?

Lost in the Music

What is music to you?

I have been thinking about music a lot lately. It has such a key role in my life (like you'd never guess from my posts) that when I had a conversation with my Other Half a few weeks ago and it turns out that music doesn't really affect him that much, it really shocked me. I don't know why it did, I mean obviously not everyone has the same interests but the fact he didn't even have a go to song when he needed a pick me up...I just couldn't comprehend that!

Music means so many different things to me, I can't understand the 'it's just something to listen to' mentality. I'm sorry if you fall into this category, if the lyrics float over your head and never really connect with your emotions or the thumping bass has never caught in your chest making you feel the beat in your core. No truly I am really sorry because to me music is something that can calm me, it can pick me up, it can move me to tears as easily as it can make me smile and if it doesn't affect you in any of these ways I don't know what to say. I'll just try to sum it up as best I can the only way I can.

For me it's the songs that you cried to as a teenager or the anthem you pumped out to make you feel stronger.

My Anthem!

The songs filled with memories; the ones from our wedding, the song that was playing when munchkin number two was born (there were too many drugs involved with munchkin one to be totally sure!)

Munchkin number two's arrival

Lyrics that mark the end of an era and the start of a new one, packed with memories of someone I miss tonnes.

I was exactly where I needed to be!

Would I have made it through last year without a group of amazing friends who helped me when time were tough? Probably not, and you guessed it there is a song for that too. Every time it comes on I think of them and how grateful I am they are in my life, every time one of us is in need we are there for each other...we're not brothers we are sisters but the sentiment is the same!

Because sometimes we need reminding we are not alone!

Then there is the album that will forever be linked to munchkin one and her first rock concert. The moments and the songs that we shared that will be brought back every time those songs are played. The look of awe and amazement on her face, the huge balloons, the shock form those around us that a kid, a girl at that, could like music like this. I'll admit that I was in my 20's before I got to a decent concert and in my 30's before I got the feeling of being shoulder to shoulder bouncing to the beat and getting lost in the music along with those around you. I am glad my children will have had a chance at that sooner, it is one of the best experiences in the world.

Not my favourite on the album but the first song played so special memories!

Finally there is the huge role that music plays in my writing, even my reading to a certain extent - as my writing group can tell you I have been know to attach songs or even playlists to characters or story/books that I have read....I make no apologies for what my brain does in it's spare time! I have said before that I am very visual with writing and pictures lead to inspiration, well the same can be said of music too. Songs and lyrics lead to characters, scenes, plot twists and lines of poetry even at the most inconvenient moment half way down the motorway!

What is music to me? My memories, my characters, my friends, my tears and my escape. I went to a 30 Seconds to Mars concert in November which was great, but I'm telling you because at it Jared Leto dedicated a song at one point to anyone who had ever used music or been to a gig as a way to escape. It will make sense when you listen to this last song that I am going to leave you with, it is one of my favourites of the moment....no matter what Get Back Up!!!

So while you listen to this one, what is music to you?

Pick Two Words

Have you ever been sat in an interview and been asked,

"What two words best describe you?"

That one question has always filled me with horror and utter panic. I have never been able to articulate myself enough to package me neatly into to two tiny little words. Until now. "I've had an apostrophe" (Smee in Hook) or rather an epiphany.

Listening to my Ipod on shuffle, thinking over the things I like and what they say about me, I suddenly discovered the two words that best describe me. Funnily they also happen to be among my favourite words too.

view original on Pintrest here

Maybe this is just a polite way of saying I'm random? That would be pretty accurate. Anyone who has had a conversation with me for more than ten minutes can testify to the fact that I can come out with some of the most random things known to man, for those of you that don't know me that well I guess more concrete evidence is better.

I would describe my reading tastes as varied (it sounds better than random when I'm at work). I could pick a favourite book (well more than one) from a number of genres and it would be like choosing between my children if you asked me to choose between them.

Classic - Dracular by Bram Stoker
Adult Fiction - Brida by Paulo Coelho
Crime (true) - Paul Britton's Biographies
Crime - The Sculptress by Minette Walters
Biography - Wild Swans by Jung Chang

Fantasy - Laurel K Hailton Merry Gentry Series (ok so cheating a little)
Teen Fiction - sorry too many to choose from *shrugs* its my favourite genre everyone has their weakness!!
Junior Fiction - JK Rowling Harry Potter Series

Ok so my favourites may be weighted towards the paranormal but I could bend your ear for some considerable time about why you should read Wild Swans if you haven't already. On the flip side I also don't mind the odd easy reading multi-million copy selling, titillating paperback if the fancy so takes me...if you catch my drift!

My DVD collection is equally eclectic, I range from Disney animations (the collection started way before children entered the house I must admit), through superhero's, past soppy chick flicks and gritty drama's to the odd comedy along the way ending with the classic action movie. The only genre not to grace my collection is horror, mainly because they irritate me (I spend the entire film shouting at the screen 'WHY WOULD YOU? THAT'S JUST STUPID'  and end up turning it off).

Where my eclecticness really excels is with music, oh boy my Ipod on shuffle is a DJ heading for his P45 (in the US I believe you call this a pink slip?) in a heartbeat! To demonstrate and for your entertainment while you continue reading have a listen to some of the more varied tracks on my Ipod.

There is the occasional classical tune in my music collection, this is by far my favourite for a variety of reasons!!

A number of cheesy pop tunes do make their way onto my Ipod, I would like to blame my children, and in certain company do...but in reality I love to have a dance to them when the mood sees me 'sexy and knowing it'

Yes, I am a soppy sod and have a silly number of tear inducing songs in my music library and yes I hide them among an equally silly number of quirky, alternative and rock songs so no-one will notice (oops!)

Phew, Marilyn does pop up a couple of times, just to balance things out as does the odd heavy metal track too. Plus I had to share this, Johnny Depp playing guitar!

 

Then I go and punctuate all of that with a few pumping dance tunes, however...

Alternative and rock tunes are the ones that dominate in amongst the eclectic mix, every girl has to have a place where heart truly lies. All in all you can find nearly anything in my music library (except Abba, not an Abba fan...sorry folks).

So there you have a couple of examples of my eclectic reading, viewing and musical tastes....and I haven't even touched on how I have skulls, butterflies and tie-dies in the same wardrobe. Like I said, eclectic.

View original on Pintrest here

Yep, if one person could be the personification of 'oxymoron' it would probably be me. Most parts of my personality, if given a few seconds, I could probably find a contradictory part of myself.

For example, I consider myself to at least be moderately 'green' and I try to care for the environment, I recycle...yet I am also a petrol head. I love fast cars, I follow Formula 1 and one of my favourite series of films are the Fast and Furious movies. At work I always try to be as tidy as possible, yet at home random stacking abounds.

And as every mum I love my babies but love my time away from them. So many parts of my life seem to be in contradiction with each other but I guess that just makes me complicated and I guess that just makes me, me!


So there you have it, my two words and trust me its take me long enough to find them. What would your two words be?

Superhero, me?!?! Ha, that one is funny!!

I started my adventure with Kerri Smith a few weeks ago and after letting you lovely peeps to choose which task I would complete first this is where we left off.

To be honest I have spent the last few days wondering how the hell I was going to complete this task. I don't have a particularly great view of myself, I am not confident in anything I do.....I am just great at putting up a front! It really has been a challenge to look inward; to define my personality traits, to find the ones that could be exaggerated and turned into super powers. Oh and then there was the 'create a avatar', that part was just scary!

Until today. Our last family day out of the Easter holidays had us heading off to the Legoland Discovery Centre. The trip was less than inspiring, fun for passing an hour or so but expensive for what it had to offer! The best part came in the shop and the mini-me station. Two minutes later my superhero avatar was born.

Now it's just a case of what she can do.

A slice of my fruitcake

Those of you that have followed me for a while know I love way too easily and way too deeply; people, things, art, books, films...you name it I can fall for it. You will also know that I love nature and being out and about; the tranquillity, the solitude, the inspiration. That is also where I am at my best as a dreamer; I dream so much when I am walking that sometimes I can't remember walking the path I have just come along. Finally I have spent a fairly good proportion of my life feeling invisible and trying to compensate, therapy anyone??

How do these traits along with my resourcefulness (read here nothing is trash, everything has a use I just haven't found it yet!) and productivity under pressure (read here always at the last minute with everything) combine to make a superhero?? 

Meet Brid

Image courtesy of morguefile.com

"Have you seen her then."

"Yeah, course I have."

"You haven't."

"They say that flowers grow wherever she walks."

"No-one has seen her though, she is invisible unless she wants you to see her and they say she makes things appear out of no-where."

"Now you are just making things up, things don't appear out of no-where."

"The very ground and trees and air give them to her, my Mum said!"

"What are you two talking about?"

"Whoa mum....seriously don't sneak up on people."

"So boys, what you talking about out here?"

"Brid, Mrs Brown. Have you ever seen her?"

"Yes and aside from being beautiful her love for all things is matched only by the wrath born down on anyone  who doesn't do as they are told"

"Wow, did she shot someone with her bow?"

"Did she make anything appear?"

"Charlie, home time! Ben, inside and wash up"

"Awwww, Muuuum"

"Now please, or do I have to go call out to Brid?"

First challenge down, which page next?? Does anyone else think this could become addictive?

This song has been going round in my head for the last few days....so now it's your turn ;-) Biffy Clyro - Machines

It's Awards TIme

Last week I mentioned two awards that had been bestowed upon me and my little blog. As yet I have not paid them the attention they deserve. So here goes!

Katie at Nested has passed on this lovely award to me.

Now it has no rules so I am just going to basque in the glow of such a lovely award from one of the few blogs that I read with a truly authentic voice, thank the lovely Katie and then bestow the award on the blogs I will mention in a minute.

My second award came winging it's way from my favourite photographer and friend Lee Johnson. This is a guy with impeccable taste and an eye for what works, so the fact he has passed this award on to me makes me smile...a lot! Thank you Mr Johnson!

And to the rules...always with the rules, sheesh.

1. Thank the blogger who nominated you and include a link to their site. (Check!)
2. Add the Versatile Blogger Award picture to your blog post. (Check!)
3. Nominate 7 fellow bloggers that you’ve recently discovered or follow regularly and include a link to their site.  (Ooooo, I will think about this one...stay tuned!)
4. Let them know you have nominated them. (Yeah, yeah. Let me decide already!)
5. Share 7 random facts about you. (Well 7 is my lucky number but I think y'all know everything there is to know about me by now. Apologies if I bore you!).

7 Random Facts About Me - Because I'm not random at all ;-)

1. I love panda's. To the point I have a tattoo of one!

2. I have way too many unfulfilled ambitions which includes learning to play the bass guitar.

3. I name my cars...generally strong male names (and I need ideas for a new addition to our family - the Other Half has brought home a beautiful new play thing but it has no name. Ideas on a postcard please)

4. I love the Ocean; it's sound, it's rhythm. Especially sailing on it, however I don't like swimming in it!

5. I close my eyes if I want to experience something more deeply.

6. I read faster on my Kobo but prefer the feel and smell of a book in my hands.

7. When I was younger I bleached my hair to get rid of the red highlights that ran through it. Now I actively colour my hair varying shades of copper and red.

The Magic 7 Blogs

Getting not one but two shiny awards for utter greatness:

Deb at Kicking Corners

Jewels at Frazzled and Frumpy

The Masked Mom

Michelle at Buttered Toast Rocks

Larissa at Pappa is a Preacher

Adam at Blogs and Boulders

aeye at Shouldn't Life be More Than This?

These are all fabulous blogs and apologies to these wonderful writers that I have not been as dedicated to my reading of blogs as I should lately....forgive me? (fluttering eyelashes and everything!) What I am trying to say is nip over, take a look and leave them some love!

Finally I will leave you with this tune that seems perfectly appropriate to me at the moment.

Day 17 NaBloPoMo December - Monday Moments

As I fully intend to be out enjoying life tonight with friends and will not have time to share any Monday Moments with you I hope you enjoy this pre-recorded message instead.

The other week I was awarded a Liebster Blog Award which I then awarded to Deb at Kicking Corners. She has opened up her questions to anyone and seeing as the are cool questions I thought I would answer them....on one condition. You see Deb cheated a little, well more bent the rules and didn't give up 11 facts about herself, she only posted one. So for answering the questions I want one more Deb fact (I know you all do too) and obviously 1 + 1 + 11 so she'll be all square in terms of the rules ;-)

My imaginary conversation with Deb:

Deb - Can I ask you a question?
Me - Sure, you can ask me anything!
Deb - Ok if you're sure:

1. What's a quote you either very much agree or disagree with? Why?

Roald Dahl "those who don't believe in magic will never find it"

 

The years I was mistaken and thought a certain jolly man of a Christmassy disposition didn't exist were among the more boring years I can remember. Now I have come to my senses and can truly say I believe ion Santa the magic of Christmas has returned!

 

2. Do you like kids? Why or why not?

 

 

 

 

 

I love kids, because they are so innocent and receptive and joyous.

3. What's your favorite part of the winter holiday season? Why?

 

 

 

 

That moment just between when you and the kids wake up on Christmas Day morning before you check to see if Santa has been.

4. What are your thoughts about the goddess Bast?

 

Catty, I'm not sure we'd get on. I'm more of a dog person.

5. Did/do you have a favorite childhood cartoon? Why or why not?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Inspector Gadget, because those arms would come in really handy!

6. What does this bring to mind: "Double the pleasure, double the fun..."?

 

 

 

Hmmm, not sure my initial thought is broadcasteable. Needless to say it was slightly juvenile and made me giggle ;-)

7. Do you prefer to drink your favorite beverage from a bottle or glass?

 

 

 

 

Glass, unless it's a Corona!!

8. What is a memory you have where a kite was somehow involved?

 

 

My Mum, myself and a friend went up on my favourite hill (Pendle, well more the nick of Pendle), it was a particularly windy day and we went to fly some amazing kites we got in America (my visit to California aged 8). Anyway my friend was quite petite and was literally pulled down the hill and at one point lifted off the ground. We all ended up falling about laughing trying to pin her down whilst my Mum pulled the kite in.

9. Do you get moody when you're hungry?

 

Yes, very!! I also get grumpy when I don't eat what I want to be eating!

10. What are five small-ish objects closest to you?

 

 

My phone (think I need to have it surgically removed sometimes), a box of Christmas cards (yet to write, oopps), a Lindor chocolate (it is Christmas), the TV remote (because I'm a lazy ass), My notepad (another one that need surgically removing!)

 

11. What is a random detail that sticks out in your mind about a significant event in your life?

 

 

 

 

On one period of hospitalisation that my Dad's illness was peppered with my Mum and I had made an effort to get dressed up for my Dad. She had bought me a pair of high heeled shoes just like hers and I felt so grown up. I clearly remember the sound of our heels clicking down the silent corridor with that nervous feeling in my stomach wondering how he would be today, hoping we wouldn't get there and his bed be empty (that thought scared the hell out of me on every visit).

 

Wow I haven't thought about that in a long time!!!!

 

Sorry I can't leave the post on that note so you can have one more fact about me:

 

In textual types of messages I will keep replying in order to continue the conversation with you for as long as possible, just because it makes me feel a little closer to you.

 

Ok Deb, over to you. One more fact ;-)