Cutting the ties

One by one, as we teach our babies, we cut the ties that bind. Cutting the apron strings is the idiom, which apparently has literal links to the past when mothers would tie a child to her apron strings so that they would be safe and she could get on with jobs.

However as we teach them to walk, talk and eventually fly we realise that we have been cutting those ties one by one, until they need you no longer and are ready to fly the nest.

My youngest left primary school recently, it is the end of an era for our family. I no longer have babies, I am the proud mother of two young ladies. When I used to hear the idiom of cutting the apron strings I had imagined a day when I would sever them once and completely and would feel the loss deeply and suddenly know why and what the feeling of loss related to. I am coming to understand, belatedly as with most parental realisations I have had (it takes me a while sometimes), that I have been cutting the strings one by one since the day I started teaching them “mama” and how to hold-all spoon. I just hadn’t recognised how few threads were left.

That looming feeling of loss has been gathering recently and I now understand that I am mourning motherhood. I know that my girls will never stop needing me, I have never stopped needing my Mummy! But I also know I will not be needed to put on socks, or wipe their face; they will need me for boyfriend advice or a listening ear when friendship troubles loom. I think I was hoping for a little more time, a few more snuggles (the ones only a toddler can give).

There seems to be a connecting theme in my last few posts...time moves fast and don’t waste it. The natural endings of things will creep upon you before you know it!

My only hope is that my girls learn one important lesson...you might have to get older and life my move along but you don’t need to grow up! Always find the fun in everything, it’s there somewhere.

As Time Goes By

Have you ever noticed that the older we get the faster time goes. When we were young time dragged on forever; the summer holidays lasted forever, Christmas and birthdays never came quick enough and rainy days were hell! Adulthood, now you can blink and miss half the year or take a nap and a whole year is gone.

view original and licence here

So when you leave something as an adult even with the best of intentions to come back to it in a few minutes, the next day, the next week, it never quite works out like that. The next thing you know and a year has gone by and your blog hasn't had a post. A week turns into a month turns into year(s) and you haven't spoken to that friend that meant the world to you in so long that now it would seem strange to talk to them. Time makes some things harder. Harder to type the first few lines, harder to dial the number, harder to make that first move.

Yet they say 'time heals all wounds'. Maybe this is the ultimate time paradox?

After losing a dear friend recently the advice I got from his wife really struck a chord, 'you don't know how much time you have, tell the people around you what they mean to you'. So do it today folks, tell your people that they are your people, reconnect those friendships you miss, work hard not to lose those friendships that mean something to you...there may not always be time to do it tomorrow!

I'll leave you with an artist my daughter has introduced me to and this song just seems right.

Love and hugs from me.