The Dream

The pressure of his thumbs working into her shoulders felt divine. The weight of his fingers curling over her collar bone pulled the stress of the day away. She closed her eyes and sighed enjoying the moment, breathing in the smell of the outdoors that he brought with him. Each mirrored circle moving up her neck was bliss pulling a smile at the corner of her lips.

"Better?" he whispered into her ear.

"Mmmmm" was all she could muster as he started to trail kisses down her jaw line. "But now I know this will all end soon."

"Why?" he asked, confusion laced in his voice.

"Because I have wished for this so many times. Coveted those hands, lingered over those lips so many times. But I will never actually feel the relief like this." She sighed, water lacing her lashes threatening to over spill to her cheek. She almost wished it would then her would wipe it away tenderly like he always did. "You are just a dream my love, nothing more. A fantastical and wonderful illusion that I will wake up from shortly"

"Are you sure about that?" he enquired with a twinkle in his eye that she had never seen before, he usually just looked as sad as she did. Her dreams were getting cruel.

"Pretty sure. When I close my eyes you'll disappear and this will never have happened, except in my heart"

"Try it and see then, but lets hope the temptation to tickle you when you have your eyes closed is not too great"

So with a deep breath she looked deep into his ice blue eyes, lingering on the tiny dark flecks and closed her eyes allowing the tear to slide down her cheek...

"To live will be an awfully big adventure" JM Barrie

Ok we all have these inner demons. And fighting is them is bloomin exhausting! So why the heck do we do it? Why keep fighting? Why not just roll over and let them win? I mean for me the worst it would mean is going to work (at at job I love, 99% of the time), coming home and chilling with a book or the tv, spending some time with my kids and maybe getting some time to do the housework. How is that scenario so bad?

image from morgueFile 

It really isn't, however if I fight my demons for just one moment, if I decide to live that big adventure then life can be like this...

credit here on tumblr

In those glimpses when you conquer a demon, even temporarily, life can feel infinite!

That's why I keep fighting. For that leap in my heart when I finish a story, good or not its complete and it came from me. Right now my heart is leaping, so here's to a completed story and here's to feeling infinite.

Here is my song to feel infinite to today. It was glorious driving with the windows down today, the sun was shining and this song was perfect. I defy you not to want to dance around the room to this song. But what is your song to feel infinite to?

Demons

You know sometimes I think I'd rather fight this

Or even

Than face some of my own inner demons!!

I try most days to face them, as I'm sure most of us do, but lately I find myself escaping into various fantasy worlds. Absorbing the words of other authors, book after book every spare moment just to escape. Avoid the housework, sidestep those nagging demons that weigh inside.

Today was a day I set out to face them, and I failed miserably again. I gave one particularly ugly looking and abusive demon a sideways glance but then ran in the opposite direction. His weaker brother I managed to face. I kicked him in the goolies and even though he distracted me from the sidelines a blog post was written, not as eloquently as I would have liked but a seemingly insurmountable hurdle at one point was overcome. I wonder though how long it will be before he is back to full strength?

One demon though shocked me with the ferocity of it's attack. A once caged and bound beast that broke free of its bonds to strike today, knocking me flat and pinning me to the floor. The only problem being, this demon is one I really don't mind pinning me to the floor even though I know in my heart of hearts its truly no good for me.

I need to remember the days when I dreamt of being a Slayer, defeating the things that haunted me. Back then things were simple, back then I wasn't fighting myself!

How do you fight your inner demons? Can you ever free yourself of them or does another rise as fast as you cut one down?

You're My Hero

We read stories every day packed full of hero's. Watch films hoping for the hero to prevail. How often have we been asked who our hero's are?

Once of a day I would have answered that question with a person. Not particularly because of that person but because of what they stood for, their fight for the greater good.

see here for source

Mandela was a symbol of something for me for a long time and I mourned with everyone else when he died.  But I realised recently that as much as I admired him for all he did in his life I no longer think of him as my hero. I've been wondering if this is a consequence of growing older; 'another year older, another year wiser' and all that. Or does it have more to do with everything I went through last year? Maybe I will never truly know the reason but for me more regular people have become my hero's.

So how is it that you, yes you, could potentially be my hero? Well, there is a possibility you could save my life. You see I have a blood condition similar to Hemophilia where I don't clot very well. Little bumps and cuts aren't so bad but bigger things or operations require medical attention and often blood products. Most of my life I have seen this as an inconvenience; yearly check-ups and nothing to report. But recently things have changed. I have come to see the importance of the small acts of heroism that everyone is capable of that could save my life or that of the person stood next to me. Those small parts of themselves given selflessly for others. These people, Blood Donor's, are my heros....you are my hero and thank you!

So who is your hero? Have your perspectives changed at all? Have a listen to this and let me know.

And if you can, read the book before you see the film, one of those books I couldn't put down recently!!