Sunday, 6 November 2011

Episode 1

Ok, so last time out was some of my writing, here goes the abridged history of me:
My first real memories, the ones that aren't feelings attached to photos, are of when I was 6/7/8. My Dad was ill and I remember the trips with my Mum to the hospital at Preston, stopping and the Little Chef on route. When you tell people that your Father died when you were 8, their face drops and the response is always 'oh how sad'. I have to say I don't remember that time as being sad. Of course their were moments, and living my life without him there have been times I have missed him dearly. But most of the things I remember make me smile; the auxiliary nurse at Preston that took me under her wing and let me help send the laundry down the shoot, probably to give my Mum some time with Dad but I felt so important with my nurses hat and helping out! Roy and Ann (Roy a patient on the same ward and Ann his wife) from St Ann's, who in the later stages of Dads illness took me in from time to time. I don't recall why but I remember having fun there.
My over riding thoughts looking back on this time are how many sacrifices my Mum had to make, I only realised recently, when I turned 30 (cough, cough), that my Mum would have been my age whilst dealing with loosing my Dad piece by piece and trying to raise me at the same time. I can't wrap my head around how hard it must have been for her; sleeping on cushions on the living room floor when Dad's hospital bed at home was downstairs and he was having a bad time, having to deal with the normal routine of school etc... and hospital visits!
I can't look back on loosing my Dad with sadness (well maybe sometimes), I really don't think I would have the relationship with my Mum if he had still been around. Also near to the end, a matter of months before cancer claimed my Dad, we moved house to a bungalow, as he could no longer manage the stairs at all. As it happened he went in to hospital not long after we moved and never came home again. A month after we moved in a family moved in to the house across the road and there I met my husband for the first time, apparently we didn't get along then, how things change!!!
If Dad hadn't fallen ill I may not have been best friends with my Mum growing up and would never have met my Husband. Life throws many things at us and if we are to carry on we must find the silver lining!


  1. I'm so glad you linked this to your father's day post so I could read it. Obviously I need to read back through your archives more, eh? This was lovely. And I like knowing a little more about your history -- silver lining and all.

    1. Still trying to find the silver lining in some parts of my life, it will be there somewhere!!


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