Merry Christmas

Wow what a busy month; Christmas shopping, Christmas plays, Christmas parties. I have officially survived the madness and am now left with my contribution as Santa's little helper - the wrapping!!!

I love this time of year usually, it has taken me a little while to feel the Christmas spirit this year but I am getting there! With the house now decorated, the memories of each bauble purchased and the smile that it brings, I am finally feeling very festive.

It is around this time of year that the conversations start with children that are old enough to question; 'is Santa real Mummy?' My answer 'He is real if you believe he is'! The spirit of Saint Nicholas lives on in all of us, in the spirit of giving and the joy of that it brings.

On that note, as Santa won't wait any longer for his help (he is on a tight schedule!) I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas and that Santa graces your house with all that you wish for. I look forward to all the inspiration that 2012 will bring.

How Sad!

I read an article today in the Guardian - the headline '4 million children in the UK do not own a book'. I know in the age of kindles and playstations etc... that headlines like this are not rare yet it never fails to raise a frown to my face. Our family life would not be complete without a nightly dose of the latest picture book or our favourite adventure! Now I know my husband thinks I should be attending the next meeting of bookaholics anonymous and the thought of Christmas coming with the inevitable splurge on books turns his wallet over in his pocket, but I can't help it! My philosophy is more bookshelves not less books, you can never have enough books, each one is a world in it's self. I only hope that my passion for books and reading; the adventure, the love, the passion, the moral reasoning...the list of things kids can get from reading a good book is endless!!! Maybe if we could instill this passion in more of the nations youth our parks, open spaces and private property would be a little safer! Cost cannot be the reason given all the potential to pick up a cheap book second hand. Some of the best books I have read have been second hand pick ups because they were a bargain. Not forgetting the wonderful Bookstart programme! I don't know what the answer is but surely we should not cast the printed word aside just yet, technological break through's need not take over the world, sometimes things can live side by side...can't they??

Finding time to write!

Well we are certainly in the run up to Christmas now. The time of year when there is so much to do and so little time!!
I visited Lee's exhibition last week, stunning work as usual, some shots I hadn't seen before and the atmosphere of the exhibition in such a beautiful setting was amazing. I was certainly inspired by some of the shots, now all I need is the time to write! I will have to squeeze it in between putting up the Christmas decorations and playing Santa! I love this time of year; the magic, the giving, the family time and the pretty sparkliness everywhere. This time of year has really come to life since I became a parent, it is full of sneaky elves who spy for Santa and faires who put up the decorations everywhere. The hard thing is remembering all the rules from year to year!! The wonder on their faces when the presents appear overnight, it makes all the effort worth it!!
So for now I had better get my self organised...let the magic begin.

All quiet on the Western front

Apologies for not having written for a few days, I am currently indulging my Twilight passion! I am in the middle marathon session of all the films in preparation for seeing the new Breaking Dawn Part 1 film this week. I can't help but love the films that have been fantastically adapted from such well written books. Stephenie Meyer really knows how to get you invested in the characters. Having read all the books it is equally satisfying to see the relationships develop on screen. You can take the supernatural out of the equation and it would still be a fantastic love story; girls meets boy, gets into trouble, he protects her, they fall head over heels, it all goes a little wrong, she nearly ends up with another, then they work it out and have happily ever after with a few bumps along the way! Who wouldn't want the fairy tale!!! Ok so I'm off to enjoy. In the meantime, don't forget to check out Lee Johnson's exhibition at Marsden Old Hall this week, I can't wait to have a look round and hopefully get some inspiration. Keep a look out on here for any new pieces I share.

Lee Johnson Photography: Exhibition News

Hoping for some inspiration next week at the exhibition of a very talented photographer. Check it out if you can!!!!
Lee Johnson Photography: Exhibition News: Today has been an extremely busy day. I have been preparing for my first solo exhibition From This Point Back. The exhibition is a look b...

Seasons Change

I went for a lovely lunch time stroll in my local park today and took some time to appreciate the Autumn season. The colours all around were amazing and even though the air was crisp it was so relaxing to walk round, crunching the leaves as I went like a big kid!! It feels like a life time since I got to appreciate this wonderful season, last year it seemed to come and go in the blink of an eye and then the snow appeared and we were in winter!
There are many who complain about the end of summer and the dark nights ...... we've all heard it and some times even complained ourselves, wouldn't it be nice if we could just take each season as it comes and appreciate the things around us. What's your favourite part of the Autumn season? I think mine would have to be crunchy leaves, they never fail to bring a smile to my face!
Hope you like this:

Colours change with the new season
Not all care that there is a reason
All they see is death and darkness
With each leaf that falls and crunches
How some wish for the same winters sleep
Tucked up in bed the warmth to keep
Do they not see the beauty they'd miss
the bright winter sun, the air so crisp
It's fine by me if they stay at home
The changing wonderland I'll enjoy alone
It starts with colours so bright and vivid
To the darkness and white that send some livid
Delight the senses; colours, sounds and smells
The Autumn season we know so well
Before too long Christmas will be here
Don't wish this away to another New Year

Into Wonderland

I have been quiet over the last few days and I would apologise but I have had such a wonderful time, I wouldn't have missed a moment.
I visited the Tate Liverpool to see the Alice in Wonderland exhibition they currently have running. I had time to absorb and enjoy every thing about the experience. Having only ever briefly visit the British Art Museum once I really didn't know what to expect... It was wonderful, even the windows provided little moving pieces of art. There were so many artists on show that have been influenced by the Lewis Carroll's Alice books, it was amazing. Some of them I loved; Annelies Strba, some of them not so. It never ceases to amaze me how two people can look at the same image or read the same words and yet 'see' different things!
The highlight of my visit was getting to see the original hand written copy of Alice's Adventures Underground, the link between the written word and the illustrations is amazing to see, even the prose is beautiful to look at!
The whole exhibition was captivating and if you get a chance to visit, please do!
http://www.tate.org.uk/liverpool/exhibitions/aliceinwonderland/default.shtm

The Best Thing I Ever Did!

Back to boring old me today. So far I have talked about my childhood, skirted around my teenage years and spoken about the love of my life. Now we get on to the best thing that has ever happened to me.

Whilst on honeymoon a little over 8 years ago I fell pregnant with my first child. Being pregnant was amazing, the feeling of another life forming inside you is something beyond explanation. No matter how many times people tell you being a parent is hard it will never prepare you. It starts before it's time for the first night time feed, a strange mixture of feelings; elation versus emptiness, wonder versus exhaustion. Then it gets harder, with the sleepless nights and settling in to this new life. To add insult to injury the baby blues kick in. In short it is HELL, but then just one look is all it takes, to see that beautiful bundle that grew inside you, it is out of this world! It never ceases to amaze me how that initial feeling of amazement grows and grows the older they get. Every day, no matter how many tantrums they have, they do something that lights up your world. I have two girls now and although this can be twice the hell, it is also twice the light.
No matter what other dreams  I have had or will have in my life, whether I fulfill them or not, having children will always be the best thing I ever do in my life!

A little something inspired by my girls...

The loveliest feeling, hands linked with you
When you say no I feel so blue
You are my sunshine every day
Even when the sky is grey
You never fail to make me smile
Even though your bad once in a while
Cute things you do, sweet things you say
I'm proud of you in every way
I don't know if I'm wired this way
To love you more and more each day
All I know is I can't wait to see
The grown up you will one day be.

Free to Fly

After thinking for a while today I thought I would take a break from the past and spend a little time on the present. I figure a thank you is just about over due!!
There isn't a chance in hell that I would be writing, let alone putting what I have written out there for the world to see, without the support of a good friend of mine. He has provided inspiration with his beautiful photographs and encouraged me to believe in myself when it comes to all things artistic. Please follow the links on my page to Lee Johnson's Photography blog and other pages. His work is truly gorgeous and I hope you like it as much as I do!!! Here are a few words to say thanks to a friend:

You've no idea the things you say
I have no way to ever repay
The kindness and support you give
It helps me breathe, it lets me live
You've shown me things from your world
Said the right things when reading my blurb
You make me laugh when I feel like crying
You're a great friend, and no I'm not lying
Without your inspiration I'd be a bore
You encourage my imagination to sore
I just wanted to say as I pass on by
Thank you for showing me how to fly

http://leejohnsonphotography.blogspot.com/

Episode 2

Why is it the things you think you will remember from your school days are the things you don't end up remembering at all. I have been trying all day to remember the things that happened at school, all I have come up with are the few teachers that put the time in and were an influence on me, even if I didn't know it at the time!! The friends I spent time with, but for some ridiculous reason or another didn't keep in touch with! The numerous crushes I had, that came to nothing. But mostly I remember the start of my relationship with Paul.
I remember the excited feeling I'd get just before we were due to meet, they way we would sit and talk for hours about not very much at all and the undeniable feeling that this was forever. He was the man I was going to marry! Some people criticise YA novels such as the Twilight series, for the way the idealise fatalistic relationships. The idea that teaching our teenagers that love can be all consuming is not healthy seems to me to be very tunnel visioned. Sometimes it does happen like that, I fell in love with Paul and I knew then that it would be forever. Should I have made more of an effort to keep my connection with friends? May be. Would I change anything in my life? No! I still love my Husband, with all I am, 15 years in and I have two beautiful girls to boot, how can that be seen as unhealthy??

Without you

Yesterday I wrote a a little about my childhood and my Father's battle with cancer. Here is the poem inspired by my feelings:

What would I be if you were still here

If I never had to shed a tear

Many more nights of playing with my hair

Or whispering goodnight as we climb the stair

How many more lives would you have saved

Instead you had to endure and be brave

We lost you little by little for a while

We grew to be strong and survive in style

Your passing led me to the right place

to see my husbands beautiful face

Two gorgeous girls now of my own

I hope to never leave them alone

Our memories I still hold dear

Though you are no longer near

We are happy now in all we do

Though every day we still miss you

Hope you like it.

Episode 1

Ok, so last time out was some of my writing, here goes the abridged history of me:
My first real memories, the ones that aren't feelings attached to photos, are of when I was 6/7/8. My Dad was ill and I remember the trips with my Mum to the hospital at Preston, stopping and the Little Chef on route. When you tell people that your Father died when you were 8, their face drops and the response is always 'oh how sad'. I have to say I don't remember that time as being sad. Of course their were moments, and living my life without him there have been times I have missed him dearly. But most of the things I remember make me smile; the auxiliary nurse at Preston that took me under her wing and let me help send the laundry down the shoot, probably to give my Mum some time with Dad but I felt so important with my nurses hat and helping out! Roy and Ann (Roy a patient on the same ward and Ann his wife) from St Ann's, who in the later stages of Dads illness took me in from time to time. I don't recall why but I remember having fun there.
My over riding thoughts looking back on this time are how many sacrifices my Mum had to make, I only realised recently, when I turned 30 (cough, cough), that my Mum would have been my age whilst dealing with loosing my Dad piece by piece and trying to raise me at the same time. I can't wrap my head around how hard it must have been for her; sleeping on cushions on the living room floor when Dad's hospital bed at home was downstairs and he was having a bad time, having to deal with the normal routine of school etc... and hospital visits!
I can't look back on loosing my Dad with sadness (well maybe sometimes), I really don't think I would have the relationship with my Mum if he had still been around. Also near to the end, a matter of months before cancer claimed my Dad, we moved house to a bungalow, as he could no longer manage the stairs at all. As it happened he went in to hospital not long after we moved and never came home again. A month after we moved in a family moved in to the house across the road and there I met my husband for the first time, apparently we didn't get along then, how things change!!!
If Dad hadn't fallen ill I may not have been best friends with my Mum growing up and would never have met my Husband. Life throws many things at us and if we are to carry on we must find the silver lining!

One of my first poems, hope you like it.

Hesitate

You ask what lies within these pages

“Memories from across the ages?”

You don’t know why I hesitate

For once you see it will be too late

Here I lay my soul to bear

Not sure that you’ll even care

Please don’t laugh at my expense

Some are not past or present tense

Try to see them for what they are

Messages from my wonderland so far...

Hello Virtual World

Hi there everyone and welcome to my blog. Ok so I only discovered blogs a few months ago and am completely new to this, but as they say; the best way to learn how to swim is to jump in at the deep end!!! So here I go, I hope you enjoy my journey with me.