I think I tend to come across as quite confident in a lot of areas of my life. My eldest munchkin is the same, but underneath it we are both blithering wreaks!
If we analyse it a little the situations we maintain our confident cover are all familiar; we know the people, we know the places and we know what we are talking about.
That is very true of the munchkin, however I am a little more of a complex character (the other half will testify to that). Since starting my new job I have done things that I have never even attempted before, surrounded by people who I don't know. I have faced my nerves and achieved things I never thought possible. I am always confronting things that terrify me for the benefit of my babies and my family too.
However, I have spent all week dithering over doing just one thing for myself. It just means facing something new alone. Aha, here is the key to me! I hate to do things alone, especially for the first time. Don't get me wrong there are times I need a little alone time, but in these moments I choose something safe, somewhere safe, somewhere comfortable. Historically when I have come across something that scares me, is just for me but I cannot find someone to do it with, I have always given up. Just rolled over and allowed the fear to swallow me whole. Oh I can pull it out of the bag when someone is counting on me, I can even fake an air of confidence, but when I am the only one that matters I would much rather disappoint myself. Sometimes you just need someone to hold your hand and make sure you don't fall!
I guess the question is....will I pull it out of the bag for myself? Or will I retreat and give in?
Showing posts with label Fears. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Fears. Show all posts
Wednesday, 17 October 2012
Tuesday, 21 August 2012
Motivation: Day 20 Baby Steps
There are things in this life that scare me senseless, many things in fact.
Roughly around 8 years ago I came to the realisation that I could not show these fears to my children, to do so would surely inflict the debilitating reactions I had onto them. I had no choice but to face my fears and under no circumstances show my fears in front of my girls.
Most things, like my fear of creepy crawlies and flying insects, have been relatively easy to face. A few deep breaths, grit my teeth and ignore them (most of the time). My fear of heights, focus on something else.
However, my fear of putting myself out there, letting people see the me inside, this is proving a little harder to get over. I have a deep seated doubt in myself and the things I create, I never think they are good enough, I never think I am good enough.
I started this blog almost as a whimps way to face my fear, I mean seriously no one would be interested enough to read my blog would they. But at least I could post what I have written and hide behind my laptop screen, the thought of someone reading what I had written and finding it wanton makes me feel ill.
This last week, however I entered a competition. Only a small competition, to win a children's book a week for a year. All I had to do was write 100 words starting, 'I encourage my child to read because...' I started writing and ended up with a poem, which I dutifully entered onto the competition page before I changed my mind. Fingers crossed and we will see what happens!
Before I let you in on what I wrote, answer the question for me, why do you love to read and why do you / would you encourage your children to read. Oh and you don't have to write 100 words if you don't want to, a few words will do just fine, sometimes less is more!
I hope your projects are coming along nicely, keep writing, keep living!
Roughly around 8 years ago I came to the realisation that I could not show these fears to my children, to do so would surely inflict the debilitating reactions I had onto them. I had no choice but to face my fears and under no circumstances show my fears in front of my girls.
Most things, like my fear of creepy crawlies and flying insects, have been relatively easy to face. A few deep breaths, grit my teeth and ignore them (most of the time). My fear of heights, focus on something else.
Sorry to fellow aracnophobes
However, my fear of putting myself out there, letting people see the me inside, this is proving a little harder to get over. I have a deep seated doubt in myself and the things I create, I never think they are good enough, I never think I am good enough.
I started this blog almost as a whimps way to face my fear, I mean seriously no one would be interested enough to read my blog would they. But at least I could post what I have written and hide behind my laptop screen, the thought of someone reading what I had written and finding it wanton makes me feel ill.
This last week, however I entered a competition. Only a small competition, to win a children's book a week for a year. All I had to do was write 100 words starting, 'I encourage my child to read because...' I started writing and ended up with a poem, which I dutifully entered onto the competition page before I changed my mind. Fingers crossed and we will see what happens!
Before I let you in on what I wrote, answer the question for me, why do you love to read and why do you / would you encourage your children to read. Oh and you don't have to write 100 words if you don't want to, a few words will do just fine, sometimes less is more!
I hope your projects are coming along nicely, keep writing, keep living!
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