This is not a book.....yet it is a book

Surrealism

Noun

A 20th-century avant-garde movement in art and literature that sought to release the creative potential of the unconscious mind. One of my favourites Surreal Adjective Having the qualities of surrealism; bizarre: "a surreal mix of fact and fantasy". (haha, that's me!) How it all began It was a normal working day, I have no idea which one, recently I think...I have slept since then! "Hey Sleepy, have you seen this? Keri Smith, she's done these books and you'll love them!" (I am paraphrasing, I reiterate I have slept since this conversation took place.) There on amazon (we occasionally use it as a search tool and I in no way encourage you to buy from them, use independent where possible or at least proper book people if not *stepping down off my soapbox*) was a list of books. But these titles were like cat nip to me: Wreck this journal Finish this book How to be an explorer of the world The guerrilla art kit For a full list see Kerri's Page When I got home I did a little tinternet searching and found her blog, which is equally intriguing but kind of left it at that. There was no chance of these books being in the library, and with 'wreck this journal' as a title it didn't take a genius to work out why. So I'd look into getting them at some point. A week or so passed and I found myself in a bookshop and after mulling around for some considerable time, having picked up something for everyone but myself, I saw it. A name I recognised but wasn't sure why. A title that was winking at me and tickling at my brain, whispering 'you know you want to read me....pick me up, go on what harm could it do?' Little did I know that this little book and its cute title would shake my little booky world! Cracking the cover Instead of a generic introduction Kerri starts with 'Notes to the reader/user' after a note about the book there are three things to remember  1. Trust in your imagination. It is the source of all true journeys 2. Things are not always what they seem 3. Anything can happen  Are you hooked yet? I was! It took me all of a day to read from cover to cover. Now I say read....each page is a task to be completed. But what she is suggesting is.....surreal. Cut out this page, draw on this page, stick this page.....It's just not what a book should be, but then it is called 'This is not a book' This book is dragging me kicking and screaming on a surrealist path; each task is seeking to release the creative potential of my unconscious mind! I am determined that, no matter how wrong it feels to rip out pages or deface a book, I will complete ALL the tasks in the book...and then move onto the next book, and the next (yes that was a hint to anyone who may feel like buying me a present). I think my mind could use some creative unlocking!! Where to start? I have no idea! I really don't want to cop-out and pick any easy task that doesn't challenge me. However I equally don't trust myself to do that so I have chosen this page to start with, but I am handing the reigns over to you. Yeah, yeah...cop-out, I know! All you have to do is choose a number between 1 and 221, post it in the comments and I promise to carry out the task this leads me to. If I get more than one response I will put them all in a hat and pick at random. Lets set a deadline of Sunday 12pm (GMT) and what ever the task I will report back on my progress next week. A little gem to end on ;-)

When worlds collide

*Randomness Warning - Babbling of a puddled mind contained in this post*

So I have been wandering today, off the beaten track and regular readers will know this means trouble for my mind!

I ended up sat under a favourite oak tree of mine in my local park, doing my best to try and write. However the only thing I could come up with was a rambling few lines of a poem I have re-written six times in the last few weeks! I ended up thinking about the last month and half, analysing things to see if I could pin point when my writing started to clam up.....That is when my mind wandered!

I wondered if I am the only one who sees my life as different worlds; work, family, friends, writing etc.. Rarely do these worlds mingle completely, occasionally the edges blur but in the main they remain separate. Don't get me wrong, this isn't by design it just kinda happens.

Sometimes though these worlds collide with such force that the collision shatters one, if not both worlds. If you are really lucky one world survives just with a few extra valleys and mountains to navigate. What is never evident in the immediate aftermath of such an internal apocalypse are the fractures created within.  Those small cracks can soon turn into huge chasms. How do you survive in your remaining worlds without being sucked into the darkness within?

There are shards of a broken world floating in the aether but there is no Bastion to save Fantasia this time, there is no saving this world. Maybe it is time I focus on limiting the damage the collision caused within.

Wow, that's depressing. Ever think of a topic for a post and it seems like a great idea at the time, but when you actually tap it out it has suddenly ripped something dark and depressing out of you? Something that you knew existed if you were honest but you hadn't meant for it to all spill onto your post. However with no time left to change it the only option is to hit the publish button and hope y'all can see the random way my brain copes with things.

Happy Random Thursday ;-) What random deep thoughts have you been thinking lately?

Just to lighten the mood ;-)

Random and very linky Thursday

The blank screen...... I haven't ever been really stuck for something to write before. But sitting here with the blank screen in front of me I find myself with no real news to fill you in on, nothing to complain about and nothing even particularly random to report......

Ah ha, light bulb moment, I am going to have a bit of a linky post....why didn't that occur to me before??

Katie at Nested has made me laugh out loud this week through just sheer honesty.

Loki at The Modfather posted a comic this week which was not only amazing it inspired a little sketching of my own. I had an image in my head and it actually turned out the way I wanted it too, which is odd for me I tend to doodle and if it turns out ok then so be it.

A friend has recently started a new blog, check it out it's ace! Blogs and Boulders come on the name is great, no?!?

Finally I had a fabulous walk yesterday. It was amazing in many ways that I cannot hope to explain here, but one thing that made me smile so much was getting out into the unbroken snow. I tried to take a photo to convey this but as usual me and my iphone did a pathetic job. Photography might be on my bucket list, but I don't think this lifetime would be enough time to scrape together even a few decent shots. It is for this reason that I will link to my favourite photographer to illustrate my point with much more finesse. Head over to Lee Johnson Photography he posted some gorgeous photos yesterday that capture the gorgeousness of the winter landscape so much better than I could ever hope to do.

So, I will leave you with this;

Unbroken snow, so crisp, so perfect,

Lay endless out before us, 

Behind us lay a map of our time.

Random Thursday - Walking in the dark

 I got me some fancy new walking boots yesterday. I have needed some for a while, the squelchy feeling in my boots every time I walked anywhere this (oops last!) summer was proof of that! Yesterday I bit the bullet and bought a pair of gorgeous (ok actually brown and unassuming), ever so slightly expensive and very practical boots.

Do you remember when you were a kid? When you got something new you had to try it on as soon as you got them. The brand new trainers were on as soon as they were home and covered in grass stains as soon as possible. Ok, so who am I kidding? I ever grew out of this!! Last night was proof of that. I had half an hour spare, half an hour to grab the boots and go for a wander.

In to the park, paths only because I am not a complete idiot, and off I went. A walk in the dark. Oh and it was soooo worth it. They fit like a glove. My toes rejoiced in their warm and cosy cocoon; encased in love. I could have walked all night, but I didn't have all night. I didn't have all night to enjoy the way the light played through the trees, or to listen to the owl hoot into the night sky. I couldn't keep breathing the crisp night air or stare into the midnight blue sky and let my troubles float to the stars.

I could have walked for hours.....but I couldn't

 

 

Random Thursday - Best Ever New Year

I have had the best New Year in probably about 16 years. We had no plans, no wild parties, no fire works, no-one else to celebrate with......just us. Now we never make plans and never celebrate with any one but usually end up in bed before the dongs.

I think that is what made this year so special, simplicity!

New Year's Eve: The kids didn't last till midnight (although I didn't expect them to) so a glass of wine, a log fire and New Year's Eve the DVD it was. Corny in it's entirety but I loved every minute!! (my previous best was baked beans on toast al a carte)

New Year's Day: A sunrise, coffee and a note pad. Followed by a family walk on the beach and a hot chocolate to warm up with afterwards...I tell you what the pictures tell the story better.

 

Blue sky and sunshine we could be anywhere, right?

 

Sunbathing like this?? Um No!

 

 

Yep, that's more like it!

 

 

We splashed over the rivers in the sand

 

 

Spotted Nessie (although there was some debate about this one!)

 

 

Click on this one to see a bigger picture and you will realise that we definitely weren't in Kansas (yes it was a little windy)

 

 

Yummy warm up treats and a spot of me time, only a spot though....

 

 

Because Jessie showed up Yee Haw :-)

 

I hope your New Year transition was a magical as mine. What did you get up to?

 

Oh and I have discovered the joys of Jared Leto and 30 Seconds to Mars. I have loved everything I have heard, favourite so far being Hurricane, but had to share this....they have covered one of my all time favourite songs and did it justice :-) Plus the topic seemed to fit given our wander today!!

 

 

 



 

All as part of your Random Thursday's broadcast from Sleepy Joe, linking up with Larissa at Papa is a Preacher (head on over she is cool and loves hot chocolate as much as I do!)

 

 

 

Day 8 NaBloPoMo - Random Thursday Tidbit Party

So it's Thursday and I am off to a party at Larissa's hence this is a pretty quick post.

Random thoughts and what has this week has brought? As I am posting daily you know most of what is happening in the Sleepy household! Today has brought enough to talk about anyway though....

Technically yesterday's post ended up being today's, but as it was only a few minutes late we will conveniently ignore that fact. This delay was caused by a spot of late night bathroom cleaning courtesy of a tummy bug getting hold of munchkin number 1.

After a somewhat disturbed nights sleep a pyjama day was needed. A day watching films under the duvet and eating chicken soup was just what the doctor ordered.

I had to giggle though at bed time with the following interaction:

Daddy: 'ok time for bed, cuddles for big sis, make her feel better?'
Munchkin 2: 'No I don't want to catch her'

You can't fault the self preservation.



 

So we are onto the next in the Wonderful Team Member Readership Award and today the shout out goes to Tara at Faith in Ambiguity. She is talented, thoughtful, articulate and she home schools with fantastic projects, go over and check out her blog you won't be disappointed.

Random Thursday

Soul mates - discuss!

Do they exist? Do we have more than one? Are we destined to find them?

How is that for random??

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Random Thursdays - Letters in the Aether

Do you know, for a change, my life has been a lot less random this week! In fact there has been quite a theme to it. The same things popping up every day, the same thoughts circling the drain in my mind. Even my generic mp3 player and the radio were conspiring to provide a sound track to this very singular week. With songs all on the same theme, laughing at me when I just want to sing wildly in the car as a means to forget!

I haven't liked it! Randomness is my life, it's what I know, suddenly I find myself occupied to the point of disraction and sleeplessness, over just one thing. I have to say it has thrown me. Unfortunately, this thing (strawberries for the purposes of the rest of this post) was not something I could discuss with anyone. Almost like a bowl of sour strawberries served to you at your mother in laws, with no spoonful of sugar to help them go down, you just have to grin and chew through each difficult mouthful until the whole bowl has gone. Pretend that they are the best thing you have ever tasted, there is nothng out of the ordinary with them at all. All the while, your stomach is churning and your thoughts are over ruled to the point of distraction from the polite table conversation that you are supposed to be following.

This had to stop, enough is enough, I want my randomness back! It was than that I had a light bulb moment. Back in my youth, which seems a really long time ago now, during periods of  serious teenage angst I used to write letters to the aether. Letters that I would pour my heart and soul into but would never see the light of another humans eyes.

Some I addressed to my Dad, I would ask him things that I felt only a Dad could answer, I would tell him what my day had been like. I would simply get the things that needed to be said off my chest, but for some reason was unable to formulate the words to express verbally.

Others were to the boys I 'loved' (read - stupid teenage infatuation), of course I never spoke to them directly, but in these letters I would profess my undying love to them and then destroy it. Well you wouldn't want it falling into the wrong hands now, I mean the person it was addressed to might read it for crying out loud. My preference was to burn them, a bit like the flame of a birthday candle, carrying my dreams and desires off to be made reality. Then the next week I would write a whole new one to the next boy and so on and so forth!

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So this week, for the first time in a very very long time, I wrote a cathartic letter. It will more than likely never see the light of day, but it felt good to describe my strawberries in such  minute detail. To spell out what I wanted from my strawberries; the firm flesh as it gives way to my teeth, the warm juice as it runs onto my lips and the sweet smell as I slowly chew to savour the flavour. A whole bowl of sweet strawberries, fresh from the feild in summer. To pause on the thought of the next bowl, the pleasure of picking them fresh with the warm summer sun on my back, the sound of the flies and bees as they buzz from flower to flower.  It felt good to describe it all. Whether it will help me sleep any better is yet to be seen, but I sure hope so!

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Have you ever written a letter like this? Did you keep them, did you destroy them or did you send them? How did it work out if you sent them?

Random Thursdays - Butterflies

I have small fixation with these beautiful insects. The process they go through to get their colourful wings, even for just a short time. Not so keen on the caterpillars though, especially when they munch on my cabbages!

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However, these are not the butterflies that have been plaguing me this week. The common term for that nervous feeling in the pit of your stomach doesn't seem to quite cover the dumbo sized things flapping around in my gut! I spent sometime today wondering why we term nerves 'butterflies'; is it as simple as the fluttering feeling you get in your stomach. Or does it run deeper than this, is it linked to the anticipation that comes with nerves, the anticipation that comes from the transformation the caterpillar goes through to become a stunning piece of animated art, produced by nature?

Either way I am not sure 'butterflies' is a great description for that nervous feeling that turns your own body into a traitor. Under it's influence your heart does stupid flips catching your breath in your chest, making you look like a gasping idiot. As the effects spread, your legs turn to jelly, your hands sweat, then start to shake, making it impossible to do anything. Finally it spreads to your mind and it begins to tell you that you are not as good as you think you are, sentences become difficult to form coherently, made ever worse by the speed with which you begin to talk. All in all a horrific process and the term 'butterflies' is too mild and too beautiful a word to be linked to it.

Are you affected badly when nerves hit? Or do you deal with them easily? How do you deal with them and remain functioning through the fluttering?

Random Thursdays Arrives

My first random Thursday and have my thoughts been random today!!

Have you ever noticed that you can't find something when you are looking for it? I know, I know, once you have found it you are no longer looking, that is not what I meant! I mean when shopping, if you go out with no idea of what you are looking for, or even no money to spend, then you seem to be surrounded by things you like and want to buy. The minute you have money, or have something specific you need to buy, there is nothing in sight!! This has plagued me for the last six months. I have been looking for some jewellery to wear with an outfit for a wedding and eventually today I have found it. I wanted to dance around the shop shouting HALLELUJAH at the top of my voice. My kids were grateful, however, that I refrained and opted instead to thank the assistant profusely for his patience following the half hour it took me to decide! Now all I need is........

Almost immediately after this I spent a good 15 minutes wondering what the best seagull defence technique is whilst eating an ice cream; to prevent it being stolen and eaten by said pesky birds. Do you spend your life shooing and not actually eating, thus leaving the delicious, in this case turkish delight flavoured, ice cream open to attack? Do you go for the good old fashioned stoop over the delicious treat stealing licks in between look out duty, risking an unsightly ice cream addition to your outfit? Or is the best thing to just eat and enjoy, ignoring the hawk like gaze waiting for you to become distracted leaving an opening to swoop in. Random I know, but a funny way to be distracted whilst watching boats bob on the water sat on the river bank.

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Just to make this post a little bit more random I saw some beautiful sights around today so I thought I would share some images with you.

Even on a rainy day there are still those little moments that bring a smile to your face like; rainbows or simply getting soaked whilst running for cover in a down pour that arrives out of the blue, then falling about laughing because you are so wet!

Final random share for today, this cute little flower growing in the most unlikely of places; in a crevice in a wall! If this little chappy can hang on and put out such a lovely display of flowers in such a tiny and inhospitable place, surely we can hang on and put on our own display, even if things conspire to make it hard for us!

Magic Moment:

My magic moment today comes to you courtesy of my other half jumping up and down like a big kid at the window of a bakery. He had seen the biggest iced belgian bun we have ever seen, with a cherry on the top. It was nice to see his inner child make an appearance, and yes the nibble I had tasted goood! Sorry, there is no picture of this one...it didn't last long enough for me to get the camera out!!!

I hope you have enjoyed my random thoughts for today, just a little insight into my mind! What random thoughts have you had today?











The Plan

Have you ever noticed that, some times, the random songs you hear seem to be the perfect sound track to your life at that particular moment?  Whether it is a song that pops up on you Ipod shuffle, the next song on the radio or the song choice of a singer you are watching live, some songs just resonate with you for what ever reason. Stick with me this is loosely linked to the title of this post.

Last night I was listening to a singer live who closed his set with a version of You Raise Me Up. This song has never really meant much to me before, when others around around me were sobbing into their hankies for various reasons, I just sang along thinking it was an ok song. Writing has been on my mind quite a lot of late and I had been debating when or if I could fit in regular writing into busy family life. The support of the people who follow my blog, who leave me comments to tell me that my writing doesn't completely suck has meant a lot whilst I have been dithering. As I listened to this song, having devised my blogging plan (that I will reveal in a moment I promise), I realised it was only possible for me to have even considered writing more because of your support. It is you guys 'raising me up to more than I can be' that has given me the confidence to do more and be more. Thank you for giving this song meaning for me and believing in me.

 

So without further ado, here it is, what you can expect from me on this blog going forward. My first baby step in focusing my life in words:

Two hundred word Tuesdays - Whether it is at least 200 words or more than 200 words Tuesdays will be devoted to original writing of some form. So I will be on the look out for writing challenges to keep me going with topics to write about!

Random Thursdays - My usual random comments, observations or musings but on a regular basis.

Weekend Wonders - This will be more of an occasional posting if and when something wonderful occurs on or around the weekend.

Oh, and especially for Deb over at Kicking Corners the occasional Magic Moment of the day may make an appearance. So, what do you think? Is this goal setting or what? Now all I have to do is stick to it!