Laughter, Pebbles and Reminders

Sometimes you just need a little reminder to be mindful, to appreciate the good and beautiful things around you; the pebbles.

Laugh so hard it brings tears to your eyes,

Giggle so long your cheeks ache.

Laugh so often you've no idea the subject, 

But those you laughed with never forgotten.

view original here

This tune never fails to make me smile, I hope it does the same for you.

What things have been making you laugh, or just smile if that's all you can manage, recently?

A spot of Poetry to start the weekend - a post in three parts

Part 1

Working in a library can sometimes be a dangerous way to spend your days if you are a lover of books! There are just way to many distractions.

Inside one such distraction I found this, I hope it makes a smile dance across your lips as it did mine.

Graunt that no Hobgoblins fright me
No hungrie devils rise up and bite me
No Urchins, Elves, or drunkards Ghoasts
Shore me against against walles or posts
O graunt I may no black thing touch
Though many men I love to meet such

By John Day 1604 in Alan Garner - Collected Folk Tales

 Part 2

I have recently fallen in love with the work of Tyler Knott Gregson, one of my tumblr discoveries. He makes poetry seem so effortless, go check him out here. But just for your enjoyment here is one of his pieces as a taster!

You are the morning
and I have waited all night
for your dawn to break.

Daily Haiku on Love by Tyler Knott Gregson

Part 3

A touch of poetry from my own pen:

Close my eyes

That's where you live

Sweet memories of maybe

Is all you could give

Faeries and goblins

May flood my mind

But they can't erase

The visions you left behind

Try as I might

To occupy brain and heart

These visions and memories

Still threaten to tear me apart

The aching that's left

Is hard to bear

While all the time

A facade of 'I don't care'

Image  credit see here

I'll leave you with this....

Day 19 NaBloPoMo December - Home

Loki at The Modfather was talking yesterday about home and how she is glad to be back in Lancashire.

Having not lived outside of Lancashire I cannot claim to have felt this way. However, what I have had recently is an overwhelming relief that I didn't follow my dreams and move far far away. Once upon a time, and also in the not so distant past, the thoughts and often detailed plans were hatched to move away. I am talking anything from the south of this country to clear across the big pond to the land of dreams. What I thought I wanted was to get away from was where I lived, I realise what I actually wanted to get away from was me. I didn't like who I was. I was an old and hagged version of me, I hated what I had become, I hated my job...the list goes on.

Now, I'm in a much better place, I like me and I don't really care if others do too or not. This has de-misted my eyes and I can see much clearer. Being able to look around me and see what is here, along with the talented art of Lee Johnson has allowed me to appreciate what I almost gave up.

So; inspired by Loki, with thanks to Lee, this is my home, this is Lancashire.

 

(Lee has kindly allowed me to post one of his shots here...I am soooo lucky. Please bob over and take a look, as well as being super talented he shows Lancashire in the most beautiful ways)

 

 

Home

 

When I was young

I used to dream

Of sailing the ocean wide

Take myself across the sea

To the promised land

 

There was a moment

A desperate time

When the dream took flight

I searched, I planned

It was close enough to touch

 

Back then we stayed

It was too far away

Right now I see

The reason was more than you

It was inside me too

 

For now I see, I appreciate

All that is around

The beauty of this green isle

It's many secret corners

Yet so close to the ocean grand

 

I am where I belong

The woodlands and hills

Beauty in solitude

Or side splitting laughter

This is my promised land

 

Seeing as it is nearly Christmas and I have had a special request (see tomorrow), there will be a Christmas song every day from now until Christmas.

 

Please listen to this one, I stumbled upon her voice whilst searching You Tube for different Christmas songs. Her sound is beautiful and hypnotising and altogether amazing, this is Maria Mena

 

 

How do you feel about where you live? Will you be home for Christmas?







Day 12-12-12 NaBloPoMo December - Friends

 

 

see original here

 

 

I've been searching all my life

For someone just like you

I can be there in times of need

And you would be there for me too

 

I always smile when you pop up

Because chatting is so effortless

Face to face or via text

Though laughing has some side effects

 

It seems you are what I was searching for

You plug a hole inside me

A connection with the world and more

I just wish you saw what I see.

 

I have had many friends in my life, some who I still count as my friends some who are no longer in my life. Recently I have come to see what I have been missing, friendship as a two way street. It is a long time since I have had that!! Many people have been awol when it came time to be there for me, many more simply aren't close enough.

 

In a little twist of my life I have realised I have the final piece of my puzzle; I have my other half, I have my babies, I enjoy my job, developed a hobby that I enjoy and now I have a few close friends who make my world complete (even if they don't live on the same continent). You know who you are and I thank you for being in my life. 



Day 29 NaBloPoMo - Random Thursday

I am this excited!!! I am going back to work :-D

Am I better??

Is this on or off the record?

On the record!

Well yes of course I am *looks around sheepishly*

Off the record??

As long as this stays between me and you!! Not 100%! Can I stay in this house any longer? NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In all seriousness I am much better than I was, I'm just not pain free. Just hoping that I can make it through the day!!

Other Randomness of a Sleepy nature:

I am dithering again on a couple of things, all writing related so I figured I might just put my ditherings out there and leave myself wide open to a kick in the ass to get me moving in some sort of direction.

1. My 99 word story yesterday seems to have worked, yet I am still pondering whether or not to try and enter the competition that 99fiction are running. The deadline is looming and all I need to do is find a topic to write about if I am to enter. Ideas in the comments please my head is befuddled, leading me nicely to.....

2. Faith and Dan have featured on here a few times over the last few months, they are characters my mind created for a purpose that was as far from books and publishing as you can get! But they won't shut up, their story keeps twittering, whispering in the corners of my mind all the freaking time (please don't call the men in white coats, they aren't asking me to murder anyone...yet).

So I am faced with a number of options; Ignore them and try to plan the book I intended to write, give in and write their story as a novel (or maybe novella??) as a side note I am positive no one would want to publish it and I wouldn't even choose to read this style of story!! Or I could go with a suggestion from a friend; I could set up a blog dedicated to them and their story, a platform for their story to be told. - So what do you think? Again answers in the comments please ;-)

3. I have recently discovered The UK Poetry Library, they accept submissions from amateurs of the poetry persuasion. I have been faffing for weeks over what to try and submit, if at all. I really want to do this so I am going to set myself a rather long deadline of New Years Eve to have submitted something. Please feel free to pester, prod, poke and generally kick my ass until I confirm completion. I figure by making this public I will feel a compelling urge to follow through (in a strictly writerly and non-bodily fluid kind of way) instead of dithering infinitum!

I hope you all don't mind lending a helping shoe and getting me moving!

Now finally a certain little mischief maker, who is known for random acts of cheeriness, has had a really shitty day. So I think it is about time someone else did the cheering ;-)

So this is probably the millionth of watching this but I can reliably bet on you smiling whilst watching - enjoy Loki-Lou

 

 

Day 21 NaBloPoMo - Alone

Alone

 

My heart is weeping

You've no time to talk

The loneliness is eating

Turning light to dark

 

There are times I need you

A ward against the dark

I thought you did too

Seems I don't hold your spark

 

Were we friends?

Or did I dream it?

The road's had many turns

But I still feel it

 

Alone

It's dark

Now is the time

To repair my heart.

Dancing in the rain

Audience participation, the two words I used to cringe at when someone uttered them or eluded to them. I would start to slouch down in my seat and pray that my eyes would not connect with the torturer.

Something in me has changed, I don't know if it is blogging or the direction my working life is taking (I employ audience participation on a frequent basis) but the words kind of fill me with excitement now. Although I am not sure I could get up in front of hundreds of people and karate chop a lump of wood (I saw that once in a Shaoulin Warriors show!). So when Tangled Lou at Periphery shouted audience participation I got all excited and shouted how high (ok whimpered I'll have a think).

Cliché's love them or hate them they have become ingrained in the way we communicate. They are useful in some circumstances, but to tell someone with short or no hair to 'let their hair down' is absurd. That is about as insightful as I seem to be getting on this subject. However, my mind does work in very mysterious ways and this is what I did come up with, I hope you like it:

 

It's time I kicked these shoes off

and go dancing in the rain

It's time I let my hair down

and live life with no shame.

 

It's time I stood on my own two feet

not wait for a hand to hold

It's time I opened the other door myself

and get used to feeling alone.

 

I'm tired of walking a mile

in someonelse's shoes

It's time I put my own back on

and enjoyed my slice of now.

 

 

If you read my post on Tuesday you will know I was dithering over doing something that scared me a little, something just for me. Please don't think any worse of me, remember I did say I am a wus, I was scared of driving. I know, I know stupid right. I was going to avoid something I enjoy just because it meant driving to a city that I have never driven in before and worse still having to do it alone!

 

Well I 'bit the bullet' (sorry Lou) and I went. I took myself to Liverpool and had a morning all to myself. I had a danish and a coffee walking through the city shops. I wandered down to the dock side buildings and stood for a moment; the breeze on my face, the taste of salt in the air, the sound of seagulls drifting around. Relaxed and energised I enjoyed an hour of beautiful art work at the Tate Liverpool. An exhibition of impressionist art work was what I had gone to see. The later paintings of my favourite artist Monet, mentioned before here, were on display along with some work from Turner and Twombly.

 

 

I may post about the exhibition and the thoughts it stirred in me at a later date. I will however say that; I smiled, I laughed (quietly to myself), I sat and floated with the waterlilies, I cried (see definitely a wus) yes a painting brought me to tears! I don't know if it is the memories I have attached to the Monet pieces, or the way the Twombly works seem to depict the turmoil I feel of the here and now but I have become an emotional wreck in the space of one day. It is as if someone has messed with my emotional switch. I have felt more creatively alive in the last 24 hours, I am just not sure why it has to come with an emotional roller coaster ride!



Friends and Flowers

"If I had a flower for every time I thought of you...I could walk through my garden forever."

― Lord Alfred Tennyson















I have been thinking a lot today about friends and how well we know the people we love (yes blogging friends you only have yourselves to blame). Tangled Lou and Margi at The M Half met up recently and their experience coupled with a.eye's post at Shouldn't Life Be More Thank This? really got my thinking cogs turning.

Have you ever been really down in the dumps; missing something or someone so much it hurts, or simply fed up with what life is throwing at you? Next thing you find out a friend is on the downside to. Suddenly your troubles don't seem so bad, you are now occupied trying to figure out how to cheer said friend up. Does this happen to anyone else or is this just another quirk d'Sleepy?

 

It hurts when you look so down

How can I disappear your frown?

It hurts when you look so stressed

I wish I could help you worry less!

It hurts when I don't know what to do

Making me realise I really don't know you

Let me in and tell me why

Before your pain causes me to cry.

 

In times like these I just hope they know I have a very pretty and colourful garden (at least in my head anyway!) I just hope that that is enough!

Happy National Poetry Day!

That was the cheery e-mail I got this morning that put a smile on my face 'Happy National Poetry Day' (some people are so easily pleased!)

On this celebration of word in verse I thought I would share one of my favourite poems with you:

 

Jenny Joseph - Warning

 

When I am an old woman I shall wear purple

With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me,

And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves

And satin sandals, and say we have no money for butter.

I shall sit down on the pavement when I am tired

And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells

And run my stick along the public railings

And make up for the sobriety of my youth.

I shall go out in my slippers in the rain

And pick the flowers in other people's gardens

And learn to spit.

 

You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat

And eat three pounds of sausages at a go

Or only bread and pickle for a week

And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes.

 

But now we must have clothes to keep us dry

And pay our rent and not swear in the street

And set a good example for the children.

We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.

 

But maybe I ought to practise a little now?

So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised

When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.

 

 

And seeing as it is a special occasion an' all maybe I will be a little brave and share one of my own....

 

Soul Mate

 

The feelings I have are crushing my chest

It takes all my effort just to take a breath

Crank up the music with a pumping bass

And wipe the tears streaming down my face.

 

The magnet of history pulls us together

It hurts to resist our corner of forever

You bring the best of me out to play

I wonder if you feel the same way.

 

Standing here I'm mesmerised

By the shining light within your eyes

A part of me in time torn

In your arms I am home

 

I guess I will just have to be satisfied

To stand aside and just watch your eyes

Our soul unable to reconnect

Just friends! It's for the best.

Motivation: Day 21 Unlock their potential

As promised, my competition entry. Hope your fingers are still crossed ;-)

I encourage my children to read because

It opens their minds perchance to dream

It opens their eyes to that which is unseen

It allows their inspiration to soar

It encourages them to create more.

I encourage my children to read because

I want them to be all they can be

I want them to see all they can see

I want to give them passion for life

Even in times of trouble and strife.

I encourage my children to read because

I don’t want them to realise in later life

There’s more to see and read but no time

Words are our past, our present and our future

With them we can live a thousand lives and more



Motivation: Day 13 Inspiration from an unexpected place

Sometimes inspiration strikes at an unexpected time, in an unexpected place, from something completely unexpected.

Today I thought I would share a poem I wrote recently that was inspired by a song lyric and a new necklace I bought with a key pendant. Random I know!

The Key

You have the key to my mind

Unlocking the wonderland inside

The beauty of the things I write

Is because you pushed me down the slide

You have the key to my heart

Unlock this door with care

For once you've visited this place

It hurts when you're not there

You have the key to my soul

To unlock it when you please

Delving deeper each time

Leaving devastation when you leave

I know I am slightly obsessed but you can't help where inspiration comes from!



200 Tuesdays - My Dad

When fathers day comes around it naturally brings up memories of my Dad, already written about here.

As I am currently short on time, as is usual at the moment, here is a poem inspired by my Dad.

We're Ok

What would I be if you were still here

If I never had to shed a tear

Many more nights of playing with my hair

Or whispering goodnight as we climb the stair

How many more lives would you have saved

Instead you had to endure and be brave

We lost you little by little for a while

We grew to be strong and survive in style

Your passing led me to the right place

to see my husbands beautiful face

Two gorgeous girls now of my own

I hope to never leave them alone

Our memories I still hold dear

Though you are no longer near

We are happy now in all we do

Though every day we still miss you

Tagled Lou has also recently been writing about her Father here in a beautifully written piece about his passing, I urge you to take a look.

200 Tuesday - 1000 page views

You can't imagine the size of the smile on my face right now, all because I when I switched on my computer up popped my blogger page and I was at 1000 page views exactly.

When I first started blogging I didn't think anyone would be in the slightest bit interested in my ramblings but here I am, still blogging and up to 1000 views. Ok so I know this isn't really that big a deal but it has made my day today. I almost feel that I should have written something special for this post but I am just too tired to come up with anything new tonight, a notebook special it will have to be!! (who knew working with books could be soooo tiring, I hope I get used to this soon, what is the use of having books at you fingertips if you can't stay awake to read them???)

This poem was inspired by a photo taken by...yeah you guessed it; Lee Johnson. Check it out here. It's strange how some images just lead to words forming in your head, that is what happened here, a poem with no links to real life from a photo where only a third is real.

The Cafe

Alone I sit two biscuits on the plate

Wondering what we'll discuss on our date

For such a long time I have been blue

Waiting to meet at our secret rendezvous

I hear the bell over the door, but dare not look up

A hand over mine wrapped around my cup

I look up to see the warmth of your smile

And wonder why I worried all the while

The smile in your eyes projects to my face

As you pull me into your warm embrace

We talk a while about music and art

Until the streets begin to get dark

Alas we must say goodbye to our cafe

I treasure these times, always happy

From within your arms I whisper 'miss you'

Counting the moments to our secret rendezvous.

PS Thanks to everyone who has stopped my to read what I write, you make me smile!!



Oops nearly forgot!!

I have many excuses for nearly forgetting to post today; We have had not one but two bank holidays this weekend and tomorrow is therefore my Monday! I have been off the grid ish for the last couple of days and just spent the last hour or so trying to catch up on all the lovely blogs I follow (failing miserably might I add).

Any way technically I am still in Tuesday, just and seeing as it is my first day in my new job tomorrow I am going to cheat just a little because I really ought to be in bed already, making sure I am well rested (although I could just get them used to how things are going to be?!?!?).

Here is a poem I posted way back when I started blogging.

Hesitate

You ask what lies within these pages

“Memories from across the ages?”

You don’t know why I hesitate

For once you see it will be too late

Here I lay my soul to bear

Not sure that you’ll even care

Please don’t laugh at my expense

Some are not past or present tense

Try to see them for what they are

Messages from my wonderland so far...

 

How do you feel about posting your writing? Do you worry that the people who read it will get the wrong idea about you? Or worse, see straight through it to what you were thinking when you wrote it?

A Week of Goodbyes

My week started by saying goodbye to my car. Now as goodbyes go this one was surprisingly easy; Bob was my re-bound car, the young sporty number that seemed like a good idea at the time but we grew apart, he just wasn't a good fit for our family. I always feel like car show rooms are akin to dating agencies. You go in and tell the salesman what you want from your car; the colour, taste in music, the feel of the ride and they set you up with potentials to road test. As first dates go our test drive was great and a couple of weeks later we have a new member to our family. He hasn't settled into a name as yet but he has an uncanny resemblance to Chick Hicks from Cars or may be a French Inspector, he has that kind of moustache!

Tonight should have been goodbye to my old, knackerd but comfy bed and tomorrow hello to a nice new one with added storage. I say should but that is a whole other story...

Tomorrow does see my last day at work. I may have only been there for three and a half years but I have met some amazing people and I'm going to find it really hard to say goodbye. I have learnt a lot, grown so much in myself whilst I have been there and even though I am going on to better things, I am really going to miss seeing everyone on a daily basis. I hope I have the strength to maintain connections with those that are really important to me and not let it drift to just the obligatory Christmas card, that would just be an insult to the friendships that have grown.

I hope this can put it a little more eloquently than I have so far:

Goodbye is the hardest word to say

It has a very final way

With connotations of forever

And undertones of never

Which make it stick in my throat

And renders me unable to talk

Warm, wet, saltiness traces my cheeks

My heart will hurt for many weeks

But there is an alternate way

Another word for us to say

See you later, ta ta for now

We will meet again somehow

Many tears will still be shed

My heart will still feel like lead

Love and friendships last forever

Between us there is no never

How long apart there is no knowing

Now give me a smile to keep me going

To all those that I am saying 'see you later, aligator' to; thank you for everything and I will see you around!!

Check out the perfect picture to this post here. Now pass the tissues I think I am going to need them!!

Weekend Wonder - tying the knot

In the words of frazzled & frumpy epic fail!!!

You would think that being involved in a very beautiful wedding of a close family member would give me no end of creative inspiration, yet I sit here and struggle to come up with anything to write. Maybe it is exhaustion befuddling my brain, or possibly the tired and achy bones (from all my 'fantastic' dance moves - yes that was sarcastic!) distracting me. Anyway, what ever it is I am stuck, how exactly do you describe the privilege of being involved in someones fairy tale wedding?

The ceremony was beautiful, my girls were gorgeous (as bridesmaids) and the bride and groom looked radiant and happy all day! So instead of trying, and failing, to put the day into words I thought I would share with you two things; firstly the poem that I was asked to recite during the ceremony and secondly the short verse I wrote for the happy couple. I hope you enjoy them both.

I will be here - Steven Curtis Chapman

If in the morning when you wake,

If the sun does not appear,

I will be here.

If in the dark we lose sight of love,

Hold my hand and have no fear,

I will be here.

I will be here,

When you feel like being quiet.

When you need to speak your mind I will listen.

Through the winning, losing and trying we'll be together,

And I will be here.

If in the morning when you wake,

If the future is unclear,

I will be here.

As sure as the seasons were made for change,

Our lifetimes were made for years,

I will be here

I will be here,

And you can cry on my shoulder,

When the mirror tells us we're older.

I will hold you, to watch you grow in beauty,

And tell you all the things you are to me.

We'll be together and I will be here.

I will be true to the promises I've made.

To you and to the one who gave you to me.

I will be here.

view original here

Wedding Day

Your wedding like a bright spring day

Love and promise the only words to say

As the year knows more than spring

Married life continues beyond the ring

Many long summers for you I wish

Savour this day and your first married kiss.

PS: I wrote recently about my first love for a project Tangled Lou is cooking up. Apparently all will be revealed on Tuesday and I for one and looking forward to seeing what she has been cooking up. Head on over and take a look.

200 Tuesdays - Guilty Pleasures

The blog prompt for GBE 2 this week at Word Nerd is 'Guilty Pleasures' and this got me to thinking. I know a very dangerous past time, thinking, ha! I could seriously injure myself!!

When does a pleasure become guilty? Why do pleasures have to be guilty?

So I enjoy chocolate from time to time, why should I feel guilty if I indulge myself every now and then?

view original here

Anyway, here are a couple of poems that kind of fit the description. Enjoy!

Guilty Pleasure

Every little thing reminds me of you
The bright summer sun and the sky so blue
Stormy grey clouds and the wind in the trees
Flutterby butterflies and the random bees
Songs on the radio or being caught in the rain
All get me to wondering when I'll see you again
My heart beat speeds and my gut's in a twist
As I drift off dreaming of your wonderful kiss
My hand in yours in search of treasure
You are my one true guilty pleasure.

And seeing as this is only 86 words here is another so that you don't feel short changed.

My Drug

Caffeine, nicotine, heroin, cocaine
Compared to you they are mundane
You are my drug my guilty habit
What ever I do I must have it
Hot and flustered you make me feel
Like I'm the only star on your reel
I wake and you are first on my mind
As sleep takes me you're last left behind
When you leave and don't say a word
You break my heart, you wound my world
Withdrawal hits hard, I am you whore
But like a fool I solicit more.

Ok, now I've shown you mine you show me yours!! Spill the beans, what are your guilty pleasures?

Mad Men and Cameras

200 Tuesdays comes to you courtesy of a talented and inspiring friend of mine this week. You may have noticed I have finally uploaded a profile picture. After much searching I realised I hated every picture I have that has my face on it and I also couldn't find any other picture I thought was right.

A.eye touched on the reason in this post, I just don't like being the centre of attention. I am very introverted and much prefer to be on the other side of the camera or computer screen.

Ever one to face the things I don't like and always wanting to do things well, I smiled very sweetly and managed to get Lee, the friend I mentioned above and before on this blog, to take some decent shots of me for use on my blog and other things.

We had a really great laugh, wandering round in the local park in the lovely spring sunshine, stopping every now and then to take a few photos. So, today I thought I would share the poem I wrote whilst trying to ignore the camera!!

Mad Men and Cameras

Look here, look there

Growl just like a bear

Eyes open, eyes closed

You know you want to strike a pose

Flash on, flash off

Look down your nose like a toff

Sit here, stand there

Imagine that you just don't care

Big lens, wide lens

'This ok?' Well that depends

Now smile, look up

That's great, it's a wrap!

What is it like for you being the centre of attention? Do you thrive there or are you more like me, introvereted and reserved? How do you cope when you are thrust into the lime light?

200 Tuesday

So, as I said last week, 200 Tuesdays are the days are when I will let loose some of my original work. If I can bear to rip it from the pages of my note pad, virtually of course!

Do any of you have the same nervous feeling letting you words walk out into the big bad world? There is part of me that really just wants to keep them tucked up in their nice warm notebook! I guess this is a little like letting go of your kids as they grow up, writing this reminds me of a post this week over at frazzled & frumpy, which lead to a minor panic attack thinking about my girls growing up. It also had a very neat challenge to write a six word autobiography, it's harder than it may seem. Have a go in the comments here if you like, mine was 'Mother, lover, reader, dreamer, part-time writer'

Any way, I digress. I thought it would be appropriate to start where I began, less than a year ago, with poetry. Have a look and see what you think!

view original here

The Door

There is a door, I see it clearly

On the outside it looks a little dreary

As I enter my heart sores because

I feel like Dorothy entering Oz

Light all around and colours amazing

That wonderful smell of summer lazing

I take a deep breath, at last I'm home

While I'm here I'm never alone

I feel your touch before I see your face

Your lips on my neck, your warm embrace

We sit, we walk, we talk, we kiss

When I'm not here it's this I miss

Just as the sun begins to fall

I realise I must return through the wall

There is a door I see it clearly

On the outside it looks a little dreary

Or is the door just in my mind

To keep my thoughts of you behind

When I'm alone and feeling blue

I only have to think of you.

Just a little something...

Only write if there is something to be said

Only speak if there is something to say

Surely...

 If write there is something to be said

If I talk I am saying something

Well then...

Only read if you are interested

Only listen if you want to hear.