A Hard Lesson to Learn

The response from my eldest munchkin. "Mum I hate it, it doesn't suit you!"

The response from my youngest munchkin. "Wow Mum, you have mermaid hair!"

And the best response from a stranger in the street - "Did you have a fight with a Slush Puppie machine?"

With a million other comments in between. Who would have thought striking another thing off my buckets list would elicit such wonderful conversations with such a wide variety of people.

When I was younger I spent a good proportion of my time conflicted between trying to express myself and trying to fit in. Eventually fitting in won out, growing up seemed more important somehow than frivolous things like dying my hair a strange colour or an extra ear piercing.

Now I'm a little older and a lot more confident (though that isn't hard and I'm still not all that confident) I have come to realise there is becoming an adult, that part is inevitable, but one does not ever have to grow up! Why shouldn't I dye my hair, no matter how old I am? Call it a mid-life crisis if you like, though I personally am saving that until I'm 40 and then I can go riding a motorbike. No it wasn't for a bet. I just want to live my life with no regrets.

I've had a few conversations where people have told me, 'I wish I had your guts.' My reply to them is just go for it, it's worth it. However the best conversation my wild hair do has sparked has been with my eldest munchkin. It has been a great way to tackle the whole concept of acceptance with her. She may not like what I have done, but then she doesn't have to...I did it for me and no one else. At nine she has barely started to push the boundaries with us as parents. My mother thinks she is beyond shocking but in truth I haven't ever pushed that hard either. But I explained to my little munchkin, who I am steadfastly denying will be hitting a decade in this world next month, that at some point she will want to express herself. And when that time comes I will support her in anyway I can....within reason (hey I'm not completely stupid as a parent!)

If there is one thing that comes from this item being crossed off my bucket list, I hope it is that my kids confidently chose to be themselves in whatever they do as they get older...but never grow up completely!

(If you can't beat 'em join 'em heh?)

The only question remaining, what colour next?

People Should Smile More

The shy smile.
The nervous smile.
The 'you have to be kidding me' smile.
The 'I'm so glad you walked into the room' smile.
The sexy smile.
The great big toothy grin.
The 'it's threatening to turn into a belly laugh' smile.
The 'I'm up to something' smile.
The 'I'm so proud of you' smile.

There are so many more smiles than this in the world, all with their own unique magic. Even the polite 'please go away' smile is nice in it's own way. At least someone is trying to be nice  to another instead of just telling them to '*$%~ off'

We all love those little rays of sunshine that even on the greyest day brighten your life. But I can't help feeling that bacteria could learn a something from the little ol' smile. It is the most contagious thing I have ever observed, one smile and a couple of seconds later it spreads to the next person and the next and the next. It's one thing I never mind catching though!

But if there isn't one around to catch and you haven't got a reason to smile, try faking it for a while...you never know, it might turn into a real smile and start a epidemic.

My munchkins...two of the best smilers in the world (of course I am completely biased) and they infect me every day. Who have you infected lately? When was the last time you smiled at a passer by or a cashier and brightened their day? May be we should start smiling more?

Proud Mummy Moment

Yesterday munchkin number 1 was on telly.

A little background; My eldest plays for a local girls football team (soccer to my stateside readers) Burnley Girls and Ladies. They are affiliated with the male professional team Burnley FC; who Dad has supported since he was knee high to a grasshopper! So when the professional team asked if the girls would like to play on 'The Turf' (the stadium's name) during the half time break, of course the answer was 'Hell Yeah!' When they came and asked if some of the girls would like to be player escorts, there were some very excited young ladies (Mum's and Dad's too but shhhh!). All this for a game that was going to be televised.

So it comes to the night of the game and it was snowing....in March snow and below zero temperatures....never the less in their shorts the girls were professional and cute and had huge smiles on their faces. Munchkins team even won their mini half time match! I am only a little gutted that me and munchkin 2 had to stay at home and only caught fleeting glances of the girls, I mean seriously it looked freezing. But I am so proud of all the girls from the club. It's just a shame the professional team didn't win.

Yes I was so stupidly proud that I paused the telly and took a photo!

And yes Burnley is cool enough to play Foo Fighters before the players come onto the pitch.

I'm not a football fan.....honest....ok maybe just a little....sometimes.....

Our Adventure

We're home, exhausted but home, packed full of memories of our adventures. Memories of smiles and discoveries, of objects seen to go with lessons learnt and stories heard. Of famous artists found for the first time and explosions in a lab. Of hotels and beds squashed together, of train travel over ground and underground. Such beautiful sweet memories I will hold forever, some of them captured and shared.

see original here on Pintrest

So this is our London.

 Day One - Off we go.

Our trip begins! Why are train stations always so cold?

And a two hour journey needs some entertainment!

When I visit London I can't stop looking around and noticing things that make me smile!

I love travelling on the tube. I also discovered that I love the look of wonder on my girls faces and the inquisitory discussions we had about trains travelling underground.

 

However we didn't go to London for the transport links. First stop...The British Museum.

The look of wonder and amazement and voracity with which Munchkin 1 went from one exhibit to the next. Devouring every Egyptian artifact and explaining their significance to me. Canopic jars are seriously disgusting might I add!

The next stop....for Mummy!

A flying visit, yes. But still I stood in awe at the Kings Library. This picture does not do the sheer scale and number of books justice!!

Day 2 - Open top bus tour!

I can't believe how much the girls enjoyed this. Even ice cold toes and noses didn't deter them for quite some time!

 Tower Bridge

 Big Ben, with the London Eye in the background

Reconstruction of Shakespeare's Globe Theatre.

St Paul's Cathedral

A whistle stop tour of the Poetry and Dreams exhibition in the Tate Modern. Introducing Munchkin 1 to the likes of Picasso (who's work is ugly, by the way - her words not mine!)

Then on to Trafalgar Square and a visit to the National Gallery. We got involved in a feather and wing art installation. Listened to a story teller use the art work in the gallery to tell a story (really great) and then introduced Munchkin 1 to the likes of Monet (who she loved - that's mi girl!) Cezanne and Van Gough.

Day Three - Time to go home, nearly!

A trip to the Science Museum - Daddy's day ;-)

A demonstration of how to make a rocket fly into space and a quick experiment to see if the Munchkins could power electrical equipment with pedal power. I won't disconnect from the grid just yet though!

 

That left just enough time for a quick stop at Harrods....Oh how the other half lives!!

However I did discover some gorgeous lifts!

Oh and some cute friends too!

That was a packed couple of days, time to go home.....we're beat!

What special memories have you made this week?

I will leave you with this, Within Temptation. Nothing at all to do with London or the sweet memories made. It is however totally beautiful and the final gorgeous discovery of this break. Back to work tomorrow!

PS - In the last few days I have been bestowed 2 blog awards. One from the fabulously talented and witty blogess Katie at Nested and the other from my dear friend; the obnoxiously talented photographer and blogger Lee Johnson. I promise I will graciously accept these awards and compose appropriately lengthy speeches to said acceptances in due course! Today I think I have overloaded you lovely readers enough.....Stay tuned ;-)

Day 28 NaBloPoMo December - Hansel and Gretel

A couple of weeks ago I asked everyone what their favourite fairy tale is and my twitter pal Anna told me her favourite is Hansel and Gretel. Mainly because of a certain Buffy the Vampire Slayer episode that was based on the fairy tale.

My plan was to re-write peoples favourite tales, kind of like story telling for the next generation, however....I don't know if it is the season, the tale it's self or the inevitable adverts for charitable causes that surface around this time of year. But I just can't seem to get an angle on this one to re-write it...

The only thing that pops into my head is how fairy tales are all about the loss of innocence; of growing up, taking responsibility and the horrors the world can hold. I wonder if this is how the stories began in the beginning?

Hansel and Gretel; was this a tale to try and explain that when times are hard people get desperate, or is it a tale to tell children that parental love is not a given? Either way there is a certain encouragement to grow up, for the children to become responsible for their own fate.

I think maybe I just don't relate to the adult characters in the tale and that is the reason I have struggled to re-write this?? I cannot understand how parents can possibly consider abandoning their children. I know if food was short I would pull an Erin Brockovich and watch my babies eat and go hungry myself, the thought of abandoning them in the forest would not even cross my mind. Plus growing up before their time is something I never want for my children, been there...done that...got the t-shirt and it went baggy!

So apologies to Anna, I meant for you to get a lovely Sleepy re-write and you got my rantings instead. As a sweetener....

 

You can still let me know you favourite fairy tale, either in the comments or click on the 'you want me' tab for other ways to contact me. Fairy tale Friday's will still be appearing in January, just maybe not every week. Stay tuned for the post NaBloPoMo line up!

Day 20 NaBloPoMo December - It's all about the Donkey

"Our Betsy is Mary you know"

"No I didn't"

"Yes, she has her own lines to say. She is going to be a star"

"Really"

"What part does Johnny have?"

"Oh, he's a mouse"

"Right! And Alfie?

"A donkey"

"I'm sure they'll be just lovely"

You can just see conversations like this happening up and down the country. Mothers competing over who's child is the biggest star in the nativity. I must point out that I am not of this school of thought. I think all the kids in the gorgeously cute performances shine in their own right. However, having attended a number of nativities in the past few years I have always found it to be the donkey that steals the show (aside from my munchkin who is obviously a bigger star in my eyes regardless of the part they play!)

Who would not instantly fall in love with the donkey? With lies like:

        "Well have ya seen the size of her?" (when talking about carrying Mary and being tired)

Oh and the standard 'Eee Ahh" whilst jumping around the stage.

The donkey in this years nativity was no exception and had the whole audience in fits of laughter!

Today's Christmas song, especially for the other half is Dominick the Donkey:

 

We are just about getting through this last mad week before Christmas. How are you doing? Are you all organised?

Motivation: Day 21 Unlock their potential

As promised, my competition entry. Hope your fingers are still crossed ;-)

I encourage my children to read because

It opens their minds perchance to dream

It opens their eyes to that which is unseen

It allows their inspiration to soar

It encourages them to create more.

I encourage my children to read because

I want them to be all they can be

I want them to see all they can see

I want to give them passion for life

Even in times of trouble and strife.

I encourage my children to read because

I don’t want them to realise in later life

There’s more to see and read but no time

Words are our past, our present and our future

With them we can live a thousand lives and more



Motivation: Day 20 Baby Steps

There are things in this life that scare me senseless, many things in fact.

Roughly around 8 years ago I came to the realisation that I could not show these fears to my children, to do so would surely inflict the debilitating reactions I had onto them. I had no choice but to face my fears and under no circumstances show my fears in front of my girls.

Most things, like my fear of creepy crawlies and flying insects, have been relatively easy to face. A few deep breaths, grit my teeth and ignore them (most of the time). My fear of heights, focus on something else.

Sorry to fellow aracnophobes

However, my fear of putting myself out there, letting people see the me inside, this is proving a little harder to get over. I have a deep seated doubt in myself and the things I create, I never think they are good enough, I never think I am good enough.

I started this blog almost as a whimps way to face my fear, I mean seriously no one would be interested enough to read my blog would they. But at least I could post what I have written and hide behind my laptop screen, the thought of someone reading what I had written and finding it wanton makes me feel ill.

This last week, however I entered a competition. Only a small competition, to win a children's book a week for a year. All I had to do was write 100 words starting, 'I encourage my child to read because...' I started writing and ended up with a poem, which I dutifully entered onto the competition page before I changed my mind. Fingers crossed and we will see what happens!

Before I let you in on what I wrote, answer the question for me, why do you love to read and why do you / would you encourage your children to read. Oh and you don't have to write 100 words if you don't want to, a few words will do just fine, sometimes less is more!

I hope your projects are coming along nicely, keep writing, keep living!

200 Tuesdays - The White Lady

I may have gone over the word count a little today, so I will try not to waffle too much today. Except to say this short is based on one of the amazing features in my local park. Here is Harri, my eldest, in the dungeons.

The White Lady

Becs stood there frozen to the spot, the grey eyes piercing through to her soul. She could feel it, she was being judged. She was by no means pure and was sure hoping that wasn’t the criteria she would be considered on.

It seemed like a good idea at the time, juvenile but seriously what was the worst that could happen. It’s amazing what you will do when alcohol fuelled!

Twenty years ago they used to ‘hang out’ in this park. Mostly in the dungeons, which weren’t actually dungeons they used to be roman baths but dungeons sounded cooler. They sat there many nights telling stories of the White Lady who reportedly frequented the park and would appear before you if you repeated ‘White Lady’ three times in a row turning at the same time. Oh please! Becs didn’t believe it then and didn’t now.

How did she end up staring down the most famous ghost amongst her peers? A dare, yes seriously a dare! The reunion was imploding because of someone’s past indiscretions with his best mate’s girl and she sat there wondering if it was polite to leave after only half an hour. Just then Mark, Craig and Sarah spotted her from across the room. These were the people she spent most of her time with during high school and right up until she left for Africa.

‘Ya alright Becs?’ Mark said as he scooped her into a bear hug. ‘You up for ditching this joint?’

‘What did you have in mind?’ Came her reply

And thus they ended up in the dungeons with a bag of beer, all be it slightly better quality than historically, drinking and laughing as the old gang caught Becs up on what had gone on. Who had married who, who had kids, who had split. It didn’t take long for the conversation to come around to the things they used to get up to, particularly the fact that no one had had the guts to challenge the White Lady.

One ‘I dare you’ later and here she was staring her down. She was definitely beautiful, dressed in clothes from the early 1900’s that were torn to rags around one shoulder making it look like she had been attacked. Finally after what felt like a lifetime, but in reality it was mere seconds, she broke away and turned disappearing through a bricked up door way, leaving a chill in her wake.

Becs was alone, her friends long gone and the White Lady had returned to where ever she came, she felt a sense of calm. She had been judged and not found wanting. Becs would love to know what it was that the White Lady saw in her that she didn’t in herself!

Hope you enjoyed this!

Do you believe in ghosts?

Weekend Wonder - tying the knot

In the words of frazzled & frumpy epic fail!!!

You would think that being involved in a very beautiful wedding of a close family member would give me no end of creative inspiration, yet I sit here and struggle to come up with anything to write. Maybe it is exhaustion befuddling my brain, or possibly the tired and achy bones (from all my 'fantastic' dance moves - yes that was sarcastic!) distracting me. Anyway, what ever it is I am stuck, how exactly do you describe the privilege of being involved in someones fairy tale wedding?

The ceremony was beautiful, my girls were gorgeous (as bridesmaids) and the bride and groom looked radiant and happy all day! So instead of trying, and failing, to put the day into words I thought I would share with you two things; firstly the poem that I was asked to recite during the ceremony and secondly the short verse I wrote for the happy couple. I hope you enjoy them both.

I will be here - Steven Curtis Chapman

If in the morning when you wake,

If the sun does not appear,

I will be here.

If in the dark we lose sight of love,

Hold my hand and have no fear,

I will be here.

I will be here,

When you feel like being quiet.

When you need to speak your mind I will listen.

Through the winning, losing and trying we'll be together,

And I will be here.

If in the morning when you wake,

If the future is unclear,

I will be here.

As sure as the seasons were made for change,

Our lifetimes were made for years,

I will be here

I will be here,

And you can cry on my shoulder,

When the mirror tells us we're older.

I will hold you, to watch you grow in beauty,

And tell you all the things you are to me.

We'll be together and I will be here.

I will be true to the promises I've made.

To you and to the one who gave you to me.

I will be here.

view original here

Wedding Day

Your wedding like a bright spring day

Love and promise the only words to say

As the year knows more than spring

Married life continues beyond the ring

Many long summers for you I wish

Savour this day and your first married kiss.

PS: I wrote recently about my first love for a project Tangled Lou is cooking up. Apparently all will be revealed on Tuesday and I for one and looking forward to seeing what she has been cooking up. Head on over and take a look.

Weekend Wonder

There are times when I have to sit back and appreciate just how lucky I am. I have a wonderful husband and two beautiful girls.

I was having a particularly bad moment this weekend; we all know them, where the hormones threaten to overwhelm us and plunge us head first into a complete meltdown. My amazing trio launched into full on sing and car dance to:

Needless to say I was instantly smiling through my tears and do dooing along....and have being doing so for the rest of the weekend!!

I hope you all had a good weekend. What is the song that instantly cheers you up?

200 Tuesday

So, as I said last week, 200 Tuesdays are the days are when I will let loose some of my original work. If I can bear to rip it from the pages of my note pad, virtually of course!

Do any of you have the same nervous feeling letting you words walk out into the big bad world? There is part of me that really just wants to keep them tucked up in their nice warm notebook! I guess this is a little like letting go of your kids as they grow up, writing this reminds me of a post this week over at frazzled & frumpy, which lead to a minor panic attack thinking about my girls growing up. It also had a very neat challenge to write a six word autobiography, it's harder than it may seem. Have a go in the comments here if you like, mine was 'Mother, lover, reader, dreamer, part-time writer'

Any way, I digress. I thought it would be appropriate to start where I began, less than a year ago, with poetry. Have a look and see what you think!

view original here

The Door

There is a door, I see it clearly

On the outside it looks a little dreary

As I enter my heart sores because

I feel like Dorothy entering Oz

Light all around and colours amazing

That wonderful smell of summer lazing

I take a deep breath, at last I'm home

While I'm here I'm never alone

I feel your touch before I see your face

Your lips on my neck, your warm embrace

We sit, we walk, we talk, we kiss

When I'm not here it's this I miss

Just as the sun begins to fall

I realise I must return through the wall

There is a door I see it clearly

On the outside it looks a little dreary

Or is the door just in my mind

To keep my thoughts of you behind

When I'm alone and feeling blue

I only have to think of you.

The Art of Skimming

I am reliably informed that it is all in the arm! The perfect position, the perfect stone...it is all nothing if not for the correct flick of the wrist.

I don't know about you, but in all my years of trying to get that stone to effortlessly bounce across the water I have always failed miserably. My attempts invariably end in one huge plopping sound and, if I am lucky, a nice fountain of water erupting from the surface where the pebble broke through.

This could be a metaphor for my life. Most of the things I attempt in my life have never been completed with finesse in any sense of the word. Getting up from my preferred cross-legged position on the floor is usually met with rapturous laughter or the attempt to cross the little stream usually ends up with me in the stream rather than at the other side!

Maybe it is time to embrace the plop and endeavour, in all I do, to just make the biggest splash I can and admire the great sound and fountain that I create.

Magic Moment of Today:
For the purposes of today's post I am borrowing an idea from my favourite blog Kicking Corners today I have a magic moment to share, so I hope she doesn't mind!

My magic moment came watching my eldest try to teach my youngest how to skim stones at the beach, when she has absolutely no idea herself! My youngest just abandoned all attempts at finesse in favour of locating the biggest stone to make the biggest splash. The sound of their giggling as the waves forced their retreat was like music. Happy memories all round!

Dreams

Unfortunately not the hot and steamy ones about the cute guy that you see at work every day, sorry! I'm talking about the dreams you have about your life, your ambitions.

I used to think that our dreams and ambitions in life were something we had to decide on early and then they were fixed. Some kind of covenant carved in stone and if you didn't achieve said ambition you had failed in life. Oh and there was only one dream per person.

 

view original here

If this were true, I failed in life a long time ago when I didn't see through the childhood dream of becoming a hairdresser, no paramedic, no nurse, or maybe teacher... These were just childish dreams, the real fun starts when you set a career goal, your ambition for life. Does it include marriage, a family? What happens though when you can't see this dream through or if in the course of driving towards your intended destination you realise you're not sure this is where you are supposed to be heading in life? Have you failed?

When I left University my dreams had crumbled around me for various reasons and to date I still haven't set myself a master plan for life. Don't get me wrong, I have lived to see some of my dreams come to fruition; marrying the man I love and having children of my own, but is this enough? For me...no!

So what do I want from life? What do I dream of being when I grow up? I'm still not sure on this one and I wonder sometimes if I would achieve more in life if I had a goal to aim for. Or does that put too much pressure in me and result in that nagging feeling of failure!

I envy people who dream a dream as a child and live it as an adult; the best selling novelist who knew they were going to write as a child, the child that dreamed of being a fireman and ended up saving his friends from a fire. Are you living your childhood dream? Or has your dream changed shape a few times along the way?

Recently I discovered a great new blog The Written Word and whilst taking everything in on this site I discovered this quote.

At least this means I am not too old to wing it a little longer, just to see what happens. You never know what magic moment may be around the corner and I don't want to miss any.

Getting Old

It happens to the best of us, or so they say!!! Why is it that when we are young we want to be older, more grown up...yet when we are 'grown up' all we want to do is be young again? It is one of the conundrums of life!!!

As middle age creeps up fast and my knees creak in and out of every Zumba class I can't help but reflect on my life so far and what I can look forward to. The worrying thing I have observed is there seems to be a distinct correlation between increasing age and increasing crankiness. Even more worrying is that I can see it starting already; a decreasing Patience with people and situations, more frequent bad moods and an irritating frustration with myself at things that would not have previously bothered me. Is this the point at which I have to stop thinking like a teenager and actually get old???

May be there is an alternative perspective to be had here. A more optimistic outlook on life? 'You are only as old as the man you feel'? However, since my husband is older than me I think I will ditch 'the man' and simply try to believe that 'you are only as old as you feel'. This will however require me to lighten up and 'feel' young at heart to stave off the impending doom that ageing seems to instill in me at the moment.

Luckily for me I have two little terrors that insist on making me play horsey or making me dance round the living room like an idiot with them. They let out the child in me! You can, therefore, spend time colouring in simple picture with wax crayons or get excited about seeing the Hogwarts express in person and it is all in aid of keeping the children happy?!? When in actual fact these things make the child in you happy too and therefore keep you young at heart.

So I am off to pull my self together, get excited about seemingly silly things and tomorrow after work and school we will dance around the living room without a care in the world. Why? Because I intended to stay young until I am no longer able.

How about you? How does getting older affect you? Do you dread the annual celebration of your birth or do you remain young at heart?

One Day, One Week

Seeing as there have been no new poems recently and progress on my current works is also excruciatingly slow I thought I would just babble on for a while about what my life is putting me through at the moment!

Electrical problems, followed by puddles in the kitchen and children setting my washing to go at 60 degrees (including dedicates!) just about sums up the household side of things at the moment, enough said!

The weekend was stressful yet productive. We have a family wedding coming up in May, with our girls being two out of the four flower girls. Our Saturday was spent shopping for their dresses, which they look beautiful in by the way. As a bonus I managed to find a fabulous dress for me in the sale; down from £180 to £48. Needless to say, happy me by the end of the day! Now all I need to do is sort out accessories, hair etc...

The week at work so far can be summed up in one phrase 'be careful what you wish for'. Keep asking for more and eventually you will get it, but why does the extra work always land when you are oddly busy???

All of this peppered with David Nicholls One Day, a break away from my usual fantasy genre, however I must say a very enjoyable read so far! I don't know if it is the humorous way it is written or the way the author confidently tells the story from two points of view or if it is the fact I can identify with the female protagonist so easily, that is making it such a compelling read. Either way I can't wait for the next instalment, so I am off to curl up with my favourite book, just like Charlie Cook (sorry couldn't resist the Julia Donaldson reference!).

What is life throwing at you? What are you curling up to read?

Worry

Will I ever stop worrying about my girls?????

I think the short answer to this question is NO!!

There are the usual worries; will they do well at school, are they playing with the right friends, am I giving them the best experiences in life.....the list goes on!!!
Then they come home from school, nursery or which ever club they have been at with some kind of injury. Just today I have one home with a black eye after an altercation with a book and one home with a swollen finger after someone with a boney bottom sat on her hand?!?!?
This doesn't even start to cover the random weepy or clingy moods that spring up out of nowhere, with no explanation and you have to revert to when they were babies and psychically deduce what the hell is wrong with them.
I was seriously deluded when I had my first child and ridiculously thought that the newborn stage, sleepless nights etc, would be the hardest part then things would just get easier....Ha, how wrong could I have been! It just keeps getting harder and from what I understand from friends of ours the worries may change but it never goes away. In some respects it just gets harder as they try to get some independence from you. Oh yey, something to look forward to then :-S

Heart to heart chats will ensue tomorrow and I am sure the worrying will ease slightly for a while, until the next injury or heartache appears!!!

How fast time flies!!

Well today we celebrated my youngest daughters 4th birthday. She is officially no longer my baby and we are on the short run to starting school now. Hop, skip and a jump to high school and beyond, wow that's a scary thought!

It makes me so proud to see the little lady she is turning into, although no matter how tall she grows, intellectual she becomes or wise she gets, I think in my heart she will always be my baby. The little 'jelly' that I carried inside me, the sister that my eldest asked Santa for! I remember the stomach ache she gave me every time she got hiccups and how she continued to get hiccups after she was born! She was such an easy baby to look after, never needing to be messed with just wanting to be left alone, I do hope this doesn't mean I am in for hell when she gets older?!?!?!?

There will be no more babies in this house hold so I guess it is time to sit back and enjoy my two girls as the grow in to women and try not to miss out on any moment as they are each precious in their own way!! I just hope when they are my age, hopefully with families of their own, that they look back on their childhood and have as many happy memories as I do; that they can look back and say 'I was dragged up reight' in the broad Lancashire accents they are growing into nicely. You are and always will be my greatest achievements!

So to my Baby, Happy 4th birthday my sweet, today you leave toddler hood behind you, good luck!

The Best Thing I Ever Did!

Back to boring old me today. So far I have talked about my childhood, skirted around my teenage years and spoken about the love of my life. Now we get on to the best thing that has ever happened to me.

Whilst on honeymoon a little over 8 years ago I fell pregnant with my first child. Being pregnant was amazing, the feeling of another life forming inside you is something beyond explanation. No matter how many times people tell you being a parent is hard it will never prepare you. It starts before it's time for the first night time feed, a strange mixture of feelings; elation versus emptiness, wonder versus exhaustion. Then it gets harder, with the sleepless nights and settling in to this new life. To add insult to injury the baby blues kick in. In short it is HELL, but then just one look is all it takes, to see that beautiful bundle that grew inside you, it is out of this world! It never ceases to amaze me how that initial feeling of amazement grows and grows the older they get. Every day, no matter how many tantrums they have, they do something that lights up your world. I have two girls now and although this can be twice the hell, it is also twice the light.
No matter what other dreams  I have had or will have in my life, whether I fulfill them or not, having children will always be the best thing I ever do in my life!

A little something inspired by my girls...

The loveliest feeling, hands linked with you
When you say no I feel so blue
You are my sunshine every day
Even when the sky is grey
You never fail to make me smile
Even though your bad once in a while
Cute things you do, sweet things you say
I'm proud of you in every way
I don't know if I'm wired this way
To love you more and more each day
All I know is I can't wait to see
The grown up you will one day be.