And the stars align

Just when you think it is safe to go back in the water the sharks come back out to play!

You drag yourself and your family through a rough time, see the light at the end of the tunnel and normality begin to descend again. Only to have the rug pulled from underneath once more. A little voice laughs at you and says 'nope we're not done messing with you yet deary.'

It's not like we haven't had a hard enough year already, but no now life wanted to have a pop directly at my little girl; take a nine year old child and strip away all her self-confidence and make her feel useless. All as a result of a few unkind words from those who would be her friends.

Of everything we have had to face this year I think that was by far the worst, watching the vivacious young girl we raised break down piece by piece in front of us. Just feeling completely helpless!

In the middle of fighting to build our munchkin back up into the confident and happy girl she was we randomly entered a competition to win tickets to see the Imagine Dragons, a band both of us love.

view original here

I had to be told twice when the e-mail came to say we had won tickets, not least because various other things had conspired to make us available on the night we had won the tickets for. And the look on her face was priceless when I told her she was going to get to see one of her favourite bands. This one thing has brought a smile to her face this week, it's given her something good to aim for. I have no idea what brought everything together so nicely but it is such amazing timing.

Life will keep knocking you down it seems, but every now and then the stars align....someone smiles down on you and things work out to give you a little miracle just when it is most needed.

So keep on getting up, keep on moving forward and don't miss the miracles!!

For now I'll leave you with Munchkin 1's favourite song and look forward to her first concert experience this evening.

Have you ever experienced one of those well timed little miracles before? Where all the stars seem to align just when you needed them to the most.

Pages and Smiles

Stories read and stories told

Until throats are horse

The young hear tales of old

Content and tired no words I say

After a very happy

World Book Day

Our costumes, because you asked so nicely ;-)

Happy Weekend Folks!

Day 12 NaBloPoMo - Monday Moments

If you know me you know I like to set my self rules and then break them, well I like to live life on the edge occasionally.

Monday moments this week is a kind of flexible term, they are more moments from Saturday to Monday that have made me smileand be grateful for life.

Have you ever been randomly flipping through a book and a particular line jumps out at you. I have suddenly discovered this fabulous phenomena since starting at the library (I flip through a lot of books in a day), share one in the comments if this has ever happened to you. Today's little snippet comes from a book by Darynda Jones called 'Second Grave on the Left'. Now please note I have no idea what this book is about or even if it is a well written book, however the title caught my attention and this is what I found on a random flip through the pages, the main character appears to be talking about a close friend:

"We were like those people who met and just seemed to know each other"
 

This quote just seemed like a perfect addition to the lovely weekend I have had in terms of friends making me believe I am worth it (at least for a minute or two)

On Saturday I met (in person and totally not imaginary way) Loki-Lou, The Modfather. She is as hard working and funny as she comes across on her blog and cannot wait to meet up again, this time with cakes instead of saws I think ;-) I am thankful that she wanted to meet me too and actually is ok with seeing more of me :-D

Sunday came along, now let me set the scene for you.....Two beautiful girls, one tired and not so good Mummy and a Daddy off learning how to be a better football coach. We had food shopping to do with the promise of a lovely craft fair to go to. How do my 'angels' behave, hmm by jumping in bed and kicking me in the face before we even started the day followed by tantrums over clothing choice - apologies to the eldest, how am I supposed to know that my thirty plus years of experience have taught me wrong and wearing a thin chiffon top is appropriate in temperatures of around five degrees. Any way slightly stressed would be a way to describe my day....

So back to the moment I am thankful for, I read this from Tangled Lou at Periphery and I cried. Amongst the chaos and screaming that I was trying to ignore I cried to the point munchkin number 1 came to see if I was ok. I know, I know sappy right?!? I don't have a very good opinion of myself, possibly from years of never really fitting in and people never really thinking as much of me as I do of them. To have someone I regard as truly articulate and wonderful say such nice things about me comes as a little bit of a shock, a nice shock but a shock all the same, hence the tears of joy and thankfulness.

Now, in all the madness of Sunday I had a two minute slice to be so proud of my girls that I cried again. Bit of a weepy day I think, but all for nice reasons. On the 11th minute on the 11th day of the 11th month we stand still and reflect for two silent minutes. A mark of respect to our fallen hero's. I rarely make it to any kind of official service or parade, however I always observe the silence. Usually the girls are at school or nursery and we cannot share this moment together, this year was different. Over breakfast we talked about why we wear poppies in November and what the silence was for, I was suitably shocked at exactly how much they knew and understood. At 11 o'clock we sat at the table hand in hand, silent, for a whole two minutes. This is unheard of, the munchkins can't usually keep quite for a count of ten let alone two minutes. Proud would be an understatement here, then normal stroppiness resumed!

In short I am thankful that my girls are amazing even when they are more like devils than angels, this I already kind of knew. Mostly I am thankful that I matter, I am worth something (outside of being Mum) to other people in this tiny little world.

There is always something to make you smile and be thankful, sometimes you just have to look a little harder than others.

Random pretty picure from my favourite park :-)

Oh and I have hit over 3,000 page views today, yep when I realised I did do a funky and slightly weird victory dance round the living room. Each person who visits, each time you come back for more (do you need your medication?) I am very grateful, thank you for making it all worth while!

Worry

Will I ever stop worrying about my girls?????

I think the short answer to this question is NO!!

There are the usual worries; will they do well at school, are they playing with the right friends, am I giving them the best experiences in life.....the list goes on!!!
Then they come home from school, nursery or which ever club they have been at with some kind of injury. Just today I have one home with a black eye after an altercation with a book and one home with a swollen finger after someone with a boney bottom sat on her hand?!?!?
This doesn't even start to cover the random weepy or clingy moods that spring up out of nowhere, with no explanation and you have to revert to when they were babies and psychically deduce what the hell is wrong with them.
I was seriously deluded when I had my first child and ridiculously thought that the newborn stage, sleepless nights etc, would be the hardest part then things would just get easier....Ha, how wrong could I have been! It just keeps getting harder and from what I understand from friends of ours the worries may change but it never goes away. In some respects it just gets harder as they try to get some independence from you. Oh yey, something to look forward to then :-S

Heart to heart chats will ensue tomorrow and I am sure the worrying will ease slightly for a while, until the next injury or heartache appears!!!

Finding time to write!

Well we are certainly in the run up to Christmas now. The time of year when there is so much to do and so little time!!
I visited Lee's exhibition last week, stunning work as usual, some shots I hadn't seen before and the atmosphere of the exhibition in such a beautiful setting was amazing. I was certainly inspired by some of the shots, now all I need is the time to write! I will have to squeeze it in between putting up the Christmas decorations and playing Santa! I love this time of year; the magic, the giving, the family time and the pretty sparkliness everywhere. This time of year has really come to life since I became a parent, it is full of sneaky elves who spy for Santa and faires who put up the decorations everywhere. The hard thing is remembering all the rules from year to year!! The wonder on their faces when the presents appear overnight, it makes all the effort worth it!!
So for now I had better get my self organised...let the magic begin.

The Best Thing I Ever Did!

Back to boring old me today. So far I have talked about my childhood, skirted around my teenage years and spoken about the love of my life. Now we get on to the best thing that has ever happened to me.

Whilst on honeymoon a little over 8 years ago I fell pregnant with my first child. Being pregnant was amazing, the feeling of another life forming inside you is something beyond explanation. No matter how many times people tell you being a parent is hard it will never prepare you. It starts before it's time for the first night time feed, a strange mixture of feelings; elation versus emptiness, wonder versus exhaustion. Then it gets harder, with the sleepless nights and settling in to this new life. To add insult to injury the baby blues kick in. In short it is HELL, but then just one look is all it takes, to see that beautiful bundle that grew inside you, it is out of this world! It never ceases to amaze me how that initial feeling of amazement grows and grows the older they get. Every day, no matter how many tantrums they have, they do something that lights up your world. I have two girls now and although this can be twice the hell, it is also twice the light.
No matter what other dreams  I have had or will have in my life, whether I fulfill them or not, having children will always be the best thing I ever do in my life!

A little something inspired by my girls...

The loveliest feeling, hands linked with you
When you say no I feel so blue
You are my sunshine every day
Even when the sky is grey
You never fail to make me smile
Even though your bad once in a while
Cute things you do, sweet things you say
I'm proud of you in every way
I don't know if I'm wired this way
To love you more and more each day
All I know is I can't wait to see
The grown up you will one day be.