Take a little dose of perspective

So February sucks, I don't hate much (it's a very strong emotion to feel) but I hate February!

This week I had a moment, a really low moment. Yet in that moment I logged onto Facebook and was faced with a friends pictures. My moment lead to another moment; one of guilt and self loathing. I guess I should explain....

Liam, the young man destined for greatness I have mentioned before, has just come back from a trip to Africa. He went out with an organisation that encourages young people to go to Uganda called Link International. Over the course of 10 days the group went to a rural school to teach the kids there, they went to the slums in Kampala with Retrak and finally visited Tudabaju where some of the street kids can go to live and go to school for 4-6 months....yep you read that right months!

I really urge you to check out the blog written during the trip because seriously my effort to tell you about it is pathetic...click here now...I'll wait ;-)

I sat looking at the photos and reading the blog that charted the groups journey and I did it all with my heart in my mouth. Seriously, I have been down this month for what? Yeah I am living with a significant amount of pain at the moment while the doctors dot their i's and cross their t's. And maybe 24 years without my Dad hit me hard this year and one or two other things piled on top haven't made all that any easier. But do you know what this is nothing! Hardship, loss, pain and illness is just normality for the kids and families in Uganda and they don't have the same access to doctors, education or even a comfy bed to retreat to like I do. It humbled me in a way I have not been humbled in a while!

The photo above is my favourite image Liam has posted of his trip. And again I will wait while you jog on over to Instagram to check out some of the other images, they really are worth a look!
Instagram.com/liamdargan

I wonder when I got so whiney, when I forgot that other people in this world of ours have it a lot worse than me! I wasn't always like this. There was a time in my life, before kids, when I slept in a cardboard city to raise awareness of the UK's homelessness issues. A time when I would only buy my lunch at one shop in Manchester (Feed the 5000 - FT5K), because it made sure any left overs from the day were distributed amongst the city's homeless population. A time when I could not walk past a Big Issue Seller without buying a copy or when I couldn't ignore the beggar in the abandoned shop doorway without giving them something. Things are not much better in 2013, the local paper this week announced 1 in 4 children in our area live in poverty. Yet I can feel that my heart has hardened, not every homeless person tears at my heart making me want to leave with them what ever I can.

Did things get so tight? Did my family change my focus? Can I remind myself of who I used to be? And will I ever be able to make my munchkins realise just how lucky we are.

Tuesday with a twist

In an effort to drag myself kicking and screaming from the funk I find myself in at the moment I decided to indulge a little. I grabbed for a film that I haven't watched since before my babies were born...and then some ;-)





This film might not be the most intellectually challenging film but for sheer surreal imagination in the creations on set it's my favourite. It won my heart when I was younger and made it a little lighter this dismal February.

So instead of a tune this week there is a trailer for the film, just in case you have never seen it.

Oh and go on what would Tuesday be with out a tune?

As for my favourite character?? It is Hoggle all the way; the lovable little guy who is caught between his own cowardice and wanting to do the right thing.

Who is your favourite character?



.

February

I don't hate, or at least I try not to and currently I am trying really hard not to hate February!

So many people say January is the worst of the 12, filled with post holiday depression and resolution failure. For me January is just another month, February on the other hand I could hate!

Aside from being a cold and often very wet the month never it fails to give me at least one bad memory, year on year something goes wrong. Just so as not to disappoint this year things started to go down hill on the 1st! I am sure there are other months that are also great harbingers of doom but for some reason they don't seem to stick in my mind as much, or more to the point they don't attach themselves to a month so readily.

You'd think in a month where you are compelled to eat huge piles of pancakes and should complain to the love police if a box of chocolates doesn't cross your path mid-month there would be plenty to keep my spirits up. But alas, even the presence of cupid flitting around doesn't lift my mood, in fact he has learnt to fly elsewhere lest the arrow be flung back at his perky little arse!!

The anniversary of my Dad's death really doesn't help matters, 24 years and it still hurts like someone has ripped my heart out. But do you know I think all the crap that happens in February looks even worse through the shit tinted glasses of increasing age! Yep that's it, it all looks worse because I am a year older. Someone had better shoot me before I get to 80, I don't want to see what the world looks like in that February if it is this bad now.

The other option I guess would be to hibernate every February....28 duvet days in a row.....Now that sounds like a plan!! Or had I better do the same as I do every year....Fake smile at the ready! But I am still not celebrating Valentines day! (you will just have to imagine the sulky 'bah humbug' face!!)

At least February is the shortest month, thank the Gods for small mercies!!

Because some wounds will never heal!