Sometimes.....

Sometimes you have to know when it's time to say goodbye!

I have seen friends come and go, some are etched in my mind, a few written on my heart but there are only a couple that have ripped open my soul and changed me forever.

“Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some people move our souls to dance. They awaken us to a new understanding with the passing whisper of their wisdom. Some people make the sky more beautiful to gaze upon. They stay in our lives for awhile, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never, ever the same.” 
― Flavia Weedn

Accepting that someones time in my life has come to an end has never been one of my strengths. I wonder, after having read the poem below, if it is because I love too easily. I love my friends, my family and my lover all with as much heart, yet in vastly different ways. Has this love-blindness hampered the clairvoyancey of friendship in me?

Reason, Season, or Lifetime

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you figure out which one it is,
you will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON,
it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty;
to provide you with guidance and support;
to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON,
because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;
things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person,
and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

— Unknown

I once said I didn't think I would ever be as strong as the main character in my favourite book (Brida by Paulo Coelho for those that don't know me). Strong enough to accept that one of her soul mates had fulfilled the reason he had come into her life and that they would likely not see each other again. I'm still not so sure, but I am getting there.

Maybe one day I will find it easier to say goodbye and accept the gift that has been bestowed upon me with grace. Maybe one day it won't feel quite like cutting out my own heart and offering it up on a platter.

In the mean time here are a couple of random verses that don't seem to want to grow up unto fully fledged poems!

Sometimes you meet someone
And they are with you for a season
Never meant to stay forever
Just there for a specific reason.

Sometimes you are mistaken

You are nothing to that someone

Who meant the world to you and more.

Sometimes you search forever

Just to find that special one

Sometimes it takes a while

To realise you were with them all along.

Time to say goodbye.

PS I hope this is the last in what seems like a long line of deep and meaningful's that I will be sharing...at least for a while. I am a member of a fabulous critique group and they are inspiring me to run head long at my ambitions...watch this space as they say!

Good Morning Campers

If you told me a year ago the I would be sleeping on an air bed, a sheet of plastic between me and the outdoor world and a hike to the loos, I would have laughed hysterically!! If you told me I would really enjoy it, I would have had you committed!

During the course of the last year I have surrendered the tight hold I have on 5 star hotels and en-suit bathrooms, as a direct result of pester power! Come on parents, you know what I am talking about!! They wore me down.

In the UK we have two bank holiday's in May; one at the beginning and one at the end, giving us two nice long weekends. The first bank holiday saw us borrow a tent, pack off to a site all of 20 minutes away (just in case it was horrific) all to see if I could hack it!! Guess what, I loved it...we all did, the only thing we wanted to change....a bigger tent. That weekend, the rule was NOBODY ROLL OVER!!!!

This weekend we set off for the second time, our own bigger tent packed up, on our way to the seaside! We pitched in the wind, it was actually quite fun and set up our camp....or maybe we landed. Our tent is huge, although saying that there were others of similar girth by the end of the day, which at least limited the embarrassment I first felt when we put it up!

There is one thing I don't think I will get used to....tent envy! The amount of people that stopped by the tent over the three days we were there, just to ask about the tent and admire it....here's a thought, I wonder if I could charge for tours?!?!

Marcus Humongo Maximums (as named by the Happy Campers)

My favourite part of both trips and a must for every camping trip....toasted marshmallows and warm milky coffees. All we need to do is find a site where we can build a proper campfire!!

One thing checked off the bucket list, some wonderful memories made and looking forward to the next trip.


I'll leave you with this, from the new 30 Seconds to Mars album.....because my other half still knows that music makes me smile!!

What have you guys been up to while I have been AWOL? Any ambitions ticked off your bucket lists??

The hilariousness of me when I'm ill

So the family lurgy hit yesterday. I think the hint was in the clothing!

Picture this.....

Me - fleecy pants, thermal vest, mountaineering base layer, extra jumper, extra thick woolly socks with fleecy lining and faux fur edging plus extra blanket wrapped around me ala ET! - Still COLD!!!

The Other Half - shorts and t-shirt (ok so he is usually warmer than me) .

The girls - jeans and thin t-shirt.

Ok, so maybe there may be something wrong with this picture.....aren't we in the arctic, I think everyone in the house is ill?!?!?

Think I could use an extra blanket!

Day 17 NaBloPoMo - True Friends

Sing along Saturday is dedicated to those few true friends who have been there for me this week. My Best Friend (other wise know as the other half) who has been my rock and generally run the house and kids. But also a couple of people who have provided me with much needed distractions, you know who you are!! I love you all.

As soon as I am fighting fit I will be there for you too ;-)

Motivation: Day 16 Happy Anniversary

My Other Half

They said we were young, we wouldn't last

But that is all in the distant past

Memories of the drives we used to take

Or sitting talking until really late

Still strong in my mind as if only yesterday

Brought fresh by hearing the music we used to play

One summer while football did play

"So go on the will you?" was all you had to say

To make me the happiest girl in town

Now I could officially plan my gown

Five more years I had to wait

To carve in my memory a most special date

Promises we made that wonderful day

The sunshine and the golden hay

I still remember the smiles and tears

A life with you to span the years

Our share of highs, just a few lows

Life isn't all frills and bows

Two became four, we were complete

Smiles and joy, even with no sleep

I wouldn't change a single part of us

Even if we now drive a bus

Father, lover, washer-uper, but above all else

My all, my everything, my one best friend.

Happy Anniversary, thanks for the last nine years of marriage and the other seven before we made it official. All my Love, Always. Sleepy Joe xxx

Motivation: Day 15 The Proposal

I apologise in advance for the overly gushy nature of this post, but sometimes it just has to be done!

I have spoken in the past about my other half and he really is that, I wouldn't be complete with out him (sorry Jerry Maguire flash there, who doesn't love a bit of Tom Cruise). However I haven't really managed it past how we met, so here goes...

We made it official in the spring, our first 'date' was to watch Golden Eye at the cinema; where apparently I was so intimidating that he spent half the film throwing up. Over the next two years we walked, we talked, we drove places, watched great films (watched some really bad films too), ate good food (ate some really bad food too)...we got addicted to each other.

Two years later and England were playing ??? in some football tournament or other (sorry the details of the exact tournament and match details escape me but the other half could tell you everything down to who scored and probably the time of each goal) he booked time off work to 'watch the match' and I had no lectures that day. We met outside McDonalds in the nearest big town (it was 'the' place to meet when we were young). As we walked along there was much fidgeting and general lack of concentration in the conversation on the part of the other half. We got to Woolies (the next big shop on the row) and I was confronted with the following question:

"So, go on then, will you?"

My response, "Will I what?"

"Marry me?"

"Go on then"

"Lets go find a ring"



And so the rest of our lives began. Granted it was not the most romantic proposal ever, in fact it probably goes down as one of the worst in history, but it is my proposal. We laugh about it when ever we talk about it and I always make out like I would have wanted a soppy and overly romantic gesture; you know the one, beach at sunset on bended knee. In reality those simple few words made me the happiest girl alive, it was perfect us, and I would change that moment for all the beaches in the world.

Skip onwards five years and in the heat of summer we were married. It was a perfect ceremony in the church where my parents were married, the ceremony conducted by a childhood friends father. There were many tears (of joy might I add), an incident with a wasp (made for a little laughter too) and a little dancing on the way out of church. Even though the day did not run perfectly as planned it was a fabulous day shared with friends, family and memories to cherish.

The song we walked out of church to :-)

So what is the best proposal story you have ever heard? Is it yours? Do you wish yours was different? Or was it perfectly yours?

My inspiration today....My other half!

Motivation: Day 6 - All Good Things Come to Those Who Wait

The title for this post comes to you courtesy of the other half (and he says I never mention him, bah!)

This is the saga to date:

Back in April I felt in need of a change, some decorating, re-modelling maybe? Because sometimes I can be inherently lazy I opted instead for re-accessorising with added extras.

Imagine if you can a green oasis of calm in your house. A serene room where you can just be, a comfortable room where you can drift off into peaceful slumber, a welcoming room filled with laughter on a weekend morning. This was the vision for my bedroom, a few choice accessories and a new comfy bed and I could relax in my new haven.

The bed was ordered; a lovely brown leather number, a new throw and cushions purchased, beautiful prints for the walls chosen (ones that you can stare at and loose yourself in!). All that stood between me and my dream...a delivery date!

A dream becomes a nightmare
The wait is never ending
It becomes infinitely worse
When sleeping on the floor
Six weeks and counting
A local firm employed instead
The anticipation too great
It will arrive tomorrow
Even if it is three months late!

I am crossing all fingers, touching as much wood as possible, for tomorrow my comfy new bed should arrive!

Ok, so maybe I am a little giddy with excitement. I will update you tomorrow, for now I am off for one final night with out a bed, hopefully!!

Ranodm Thursdays - The return of homework!

You all know I have a huge blog crush on a fantastic blog Kicking Corners, she had me at fairies. Any way I digress. This lovely lady is taking a break to concentrate on writing, wish I had the will power but I'm just too nosey! In the meantime she has set homework :-/ I was never a fan at school, college or university. But hey ho, this sounds like fun, and seems like a great way to spend my random Thursday!

view original here

Here goes: First read this article done, now I just have to get the other half to read it!!!

Next, blog answering the name-thing let's see...

'What's in a name?' Hmmm, my brain wants to say nothing. At the end of the day I would still be me if I wasn't called Alison. Strawberries would still be sweet and juicy if somebody had called them heart berries. However, let me tell you the story of my youngest's arrival.

It was Christmas, Harriett (the oldest) decided it would be a good idea to ask Santa for a baby sister; boy does she regret that request now! Any how, we didn't think much of it at all. Until a few months later and the nursery staff questioned me one evening; did I have something to tell them? ermm, 'I don't think so, why?' They then produced a picture Harriett had drawn of mummy, daddy, harri and baby sister in mummy's tummy! 'Oh' was my reply, 'not that I know of.' Two weeks later we found out I was expecting! The usual conversations came over the next few months, girls and boys names were chosen. We even took Harriett to a 3D scan to see the imminent arrival on the telly, where it was confirmed a little lady was on the way. Grace Elizabeth it would be, until.....
A couple of weeks before she was due to arrive I sat bolt upright, all of a sudden and blurted out:

'This baby cannot be called Grace, she will not be full of grace.'

Hormonal panic set in, what were we going to call this little bundle when she arrived? Various ideas were bounced around, some returning time and time again like a rubber ball, being rejected and returning in the next discussion as a consideration. Finally, inspiration struck, why didn't we just ask Harriett? She asked for this little bundle, she knew before we knew, so why not?

'Ellie, I want to call her Ellie'

And so Eleanor, shortened to Ellie, arrived to complete our family (late, as is the family tradition!).

Call it mothers intuition but our little Ellie is no Grace, although she still holds on to it as her middle name. Our little lady has no fear and is often termed the 'honourary boy' of the family. The name 'Grace' conjours images of a sweet and innocent, well behaved little angel, rightly or wrongly! I am so glad that my subconscious kicked in to let me know we had made the wrong choice before she was born.

So what's in a name? Years of history, association, prejudice and emotion. We just can't separate the two, no matter how hard we may want to. Sometimes our heart rules over our brain!

Next, Alison, what's the meaning of my name? It has so many:
'of noble birth', cool!
'Honest', yup, to a fault!
'Sweet', so some say, occasionally.
'Son of all', well that one is a bit below the belt, comments like that could start a fight!
Then we get to the 'variation of Alice', you don't say!
This one I didn't know 'variation of Louise: battle famous', interesting...

Finally, answer a few questions; are the multiple choice??

1. What are you listening to right now? - My rock play list, it was appropriate to some proof reading I was doing for a friend!
2. Do you like your handwriting? - Only when I take the time to write neatly.
3. If you were another person, would you be friends with you? - I hope so, I always try to offer the traits I would like to see in a friend.
4. What’s your favourite breakfast? - Porridge with chocolate chips in (mmm now I'm hungry)
5. The first thing you notice about people is…  - I don't really know, sometimes hair style, mostly shoes.
6. In what way are you irrational? - Almost everything at that time of the month!
7. If you needed a kidney, who would be the first person willing to donate one to you? - My other half, and I for him.
8. Where’s the farthest you’ve been from home? - California, as a child and I can't wait to go back!
9. Scary movies or happy endings? - Happy endings, always.
10. What makes you feel young? - My kids, when they are not making me feel really old.
11. Do you believe everything happens for a reason? - I can't not believe that things happen for a reason, given how I met my husband (see yesterdays post).
12. What’s something you aren’t? - Confident in my own abilities.
13. If you had next Monday off from all responsibilities and expectations, what would you do? - Write!!
14. Do you always smile for pictures? - No, I don't particularly like how it makes my face look.
15. What would you be willing to literally fight for? - My children's well being and happiness (the joke in our family is that perspective boyfriends will have to get through me not Dad!)
16. What is your all-time favourite joke? - Why did the feather cross the road? To get to the chicken! (courtesy of Harriett)
17. Wonderland or Oz? - Wonderland (it has to be really given the meaning of my name!)
18. What’s the story of your first kiss? - see yesterdays post.
19. How do you explain déjà vu? - Things I have dreamed before they happen.
20. What’s the coldest you’ve ever been? - No boiler in the middle of winter and having to wear gloves and bobble hats in bed!

Wow, that is an awful lot of me! Are you all bored yet?? If you are interested in how others have done with their homework, head over to Kicking Corners and have a peek in the comments, follow the links of all the teachers pets who have already put their links there. And that is precisely where I am off. Laters xx

One Love First Love

Over at Periphery Tangled Lou has been asking for us to blog about our first love, so I thought I would give you an extra little treat with a mid week post. I know I should be writing, or at the very least researching my work in progress, but I am easily distracted!

I have posted a few times about love here or here and given that both mentioned my husband, who is also my first and only love, I guess they apply here too.

Meeting my other half was not the happiest time of my life. I was 8, my father was ill and we had just moved to a bungalow because of his mobility issues, which also meant having to give our dog, Suzy, away. Another family moved into the house opposite us about a month after we moved onto the street.

A family of six; Mother, Father, two boys and two girls. I had a new friend in the youngest child (eventually my sister in law) and quite frankly the boys were just annoying! As time went on, after my Fathers passing,  our mothers became friends and we started spending time at their house. It turns out that the oldest boy wasn't actually that bad! We spent time watching telly in his bedroom and generally hanging out.

Eventually teenage years hit and one evening on a stolen moment, without parental units around, he kissed me. Time stood still, I had dreamed of this moment for what seemed like an eternity and now his lips were on mine. It was a nervous kiss and probably shorter than it felt, but I will always remember how he smelt, the arm of the sofa that I was perching on at the time and how my heart felt like it was about to leap out of my chest.

Our relationship didn't get off the ground for some time. To cut a very long and involved story short he is 4 and a half years older than me, which at 14 and 19 seems like a huge gap. For me there was a couple of two week relationships thrown into the gaps created by our flings but eventually we took the plunge and made what we had public, never looking back.

A full and beautiful sixteen years later I still remember standing in the kitchen waiting for him to get home from work just to catch a glimpse, heart pounding. I still remember the taste of that first kiss.

Weekend Wonder

There are times when I have to sit back and appreciate just how lucky I am. I have a wonderful husband and two beautiful girls.

I was having a particularly bad moment this weekend; we all know them, where the hormones threaten to overwhelm us and plunge us head first into a complete meltdown. My amazing trio launched into full on sing and car dance to:

Needless to say I was instantly smiling through my tears and do dooing along....and have being doing so for the rest of the weekend!!

I hope you all had a good weekend. What is the song that instantly cheers you up?

Where did the week go?

I just don't seem to have had time to blog at all for the last few days. Between planning an impromptu trip to London and spending time writing following an inspirational trip to a local iron age hill fort, oh and the general day to day family schedule, there has been little time for anything else.

I am really looking forward to having a day to my self in the big smoke. Planned in are; a couple of art museums, an independent bookshop and a frozen yogurt bar (just to see if it is the same as I remember from America). It may seem strange to pack off my kids mid week to their Grandparents just to indulge my passions, but what the hell, I have a days leave that must be taken this week so why not use it to re-charge my cultural batteries! I will fill you all in on my adventure later in the week.

The other project occupying my brain space and time at the moment is a new character. She sprang up out of nowhere following a visit to a local iron age hill fort. Something I have to say I must have driven past hundreds of times assuming it was just another lump of grass with sheep. It was not until I visited it with a very knowledgeable tour guide that I realised it's significance to the area. He pointed out the sites of the settlement's huts (circular ditches to you and me), the perimeter fence (sorry that one was lost on me) and what would have been the paths into the settlement, all of which I would have walked past had I been on my own! By the time I got home Guinevere had materialised in my mind. I couldn't wait to get the kids and husband to bed in order to get some peace and quiet to write. Early the next morning, as I crawled into bed to warm my now very cold feet on the mobile hot water bottle otherwise known as my husband, I felt a great sense of accomplishment at the first short I have ever written. There have been various ideas in the past, numerous characters living in my mind and even a few pages written, however none had ever flowed properly or sounded right. This I am proud of, now I am just faced with the internal fight; Do I put this out there? Do I risk other people thinking that it is juvenile and not worthy? Then; do I post it on here if there is a chance that it may turn out to be more than a short? Or do I keep it to myself for the time being and wait and see what develops?

What do you think? Should we have the courage to put things out there? Or are there some things we write that should remain ours, just for a little while at least?

It's all in the heart

Today I had a rare afternoon just me and the hubby and it got me to thinking about love and the natural beauty of it.

In Lauren Kate's blog (http://laurenkatebooks.net/blog)  she has been focusing on 'a daily dash of romance' in the run up to her new book being available to buy (Fallen in Love) - I have to say I can't wait for it to be available in the UK. Any way, in her blog on Wednesday she was talking about favourite romantic paintings, I have been wracking my brain, and google, ever since to see what I can find but nothing is really striking that cord with me. I think this probably says more about my limited knowledge and complete inexperience more than anything else, but I always seem to get stuck on Monet. His paintings are so captivating and serene, but not much romance! It seems I am in need of a few trips to art museums to further educate myself!!

My afternoon, however, reminded me that romance and love are in the moment and sometimes it is just hard to capture this any where but in the heart. However that doesn't stop us from trying, providing some fantastic pieces of art, literary works and music... all the things I love in life!!!

I sit here and wonder why

While the world passes by

Finding it hard to understand

The reason we are hand in hand

When all around are busy as a bee

You are the only one I see

You are the one that completes my soul

Without you I wouldn't be whole

I still don't get it, it's lost on me

Why out of everyone you chose me

Am I your missing puzzle piece

It's what I wish for in my dreams.



Episode 2

Why is it the things you think you will remember from your school days are the things you don't end up remembering at all. I have been trying all day to remember the things that happened at school, all I have come up with are the few teachers that put the time in and were an influence on me, even if I didn't know it at the time!! The friends I spent time with, but for some ridiculous reason or another didn't keep in touch with! The numerous crushes I had, that came to nothing. But mostly I remember the start of my relationship with Paul.
I remember the excited feeling I'd get just before we were due to meet, they way we would sit and talk for hours about not very much at all and the undeniable feeling that this was forever. He was the man I was going to marry! Some people criticise YA novels such as the Twilight series, for the way the idealise fatalistic relationships. The idea that teaching our teenagers that love can be all consuming is not healthy seems to me to be very tunnel visioned. Sometimes it does happen like that, I fell in love with Paul and I knew then that it would be forever. Should I have made more of an effort to keep my connection with friends? May be. Would I change anything in my life? No! I still love my Husband, with all I am, 15 years in and I have two beautiful girls to boot, how can that be seen as unhealthy??