Slipping Away

Prompt pinned from here

"Do we really need to keep this?"

"Yes, it's from Charlie's first week of school."

"What about this?"

"Yes, our first holiday on abroad."

"Seriously we can't need all of these cards and pictures! Can we?"

Liv rolled her eyes. Why was Ian so intent on taking away all of her connections to the past? Their memories, their moments.

She got up, grabbed her cup of tea and walked out into the garden for some fresh air. She would have to let go of some things at some point. Mara would be off to high school soon and there was no more room for 'stuff' in the house, just like there was no more room in her brain.

Cradling the warm china in both hands, inhaling the honeyed vanilla sent Liv closed her eyes and sank into the bench and her memory. 

The fresh clean air in her lungs, the smell of the damp wet grass under her boots and the chatting about nothing as they walked.The blue sky and the birds calling, stopping while he tried to tell her which bird was which. Then the feel of his hand slipping around hers. The warmth and the pressure of his fingers made her feel safe. But then the unspoken hung heavy in the air, the next step that would never be. Neither wanting to let go knowing they would never get this moment again. The memory would be the only thing they would get to keep.

Now Liv worried that her memory would fail her, eventually she would forget this too along with everything else. She had nothing to connect it to.

What ever you take, what ever you throw away. Please let me keep this memory.

After much deliberation it here is a little Stone Sour acoustic to go with today's post. 

What memory would you not want to let go of? What do you keep playing over and over in your mind like a movie on repeat, just so you won't forget any little detail?

"Happy New Year"

But is it ever, I mean really??

I always wish for a 'Happy' New Year and sincerely wish others one but in reality I'm always just glad I have survived the year. This year in particular seems to have been a 'roll on next year' kind of year. And if I was superstitious I may have made the 13 connection a little sooner than September!

My very good friend Caitlyn had me in stitches with a post packed full of memes check it out here but I have to say this one is my favourite, it popped up on Pintrest and Facebook and is just funny!!

We all do it every year and I will be doing it again this year but on reviewing last years 'rules to live by' I can confirm I tank at living up to them!! I think it is just human nature to constantly need for a fresh start...a do-over, and what better time than the beginning of a New Year? After all it comes around every twelve months, its just after most of us have finished stuffing ourselves and being overly decadent.

One thing I am very thankful for this New Years Eve is a suggestion made by my Other Half this time last year. I don't know where he saw the idea, how or why he came to make the suggestion that our family set up this tradition, but after a year of hospitalisations, bullying and other general crappiness I am so glad that he did. Our little family has spent the year trying to focus on the good things and every time something good has happened we've written it on a piece of paper and put it in a jar. Then tonight we can look back and remember that this year wasn't actually that bad a year, we can refill on happiness and repeat next year. It might sound a little corny but I am seriously shocked at how full the jar actually got this year. I'm sure we will have forgotten to put some things in there but we'll get better at it next year....see a resolution!

original on pintrest here

So what else will I attempt this year??

1. I resolve to live a healthier lifestyle (yeah right! I have been attempting this for as long as I have been aware of resolutions but maybe this is the year, right?!)

2. I resolve to listen to my body and give it a break sometimes (because that didn't go so well in 2013!) 

3. I resolve to write more, including finish the first draft of something novel length.

4. I resolve to actually do some of the things on my to do list like go walking, have fun with my kids, read more, have fun with guerrilla art, watch more films, spend more time with friends (basically never sleep but what the hell!)

5. I resolve to refill and repeat...the memory jar that is. I know I already said this but this time around everything goes in! Things that make us laugh, time with friends, films that make us laugh or cry, trips, plays, football wins...EVERYTHING!

6. I resolve to attempt more random acts of kindness even in the face of my Other Half who hates them just because we should do something and walking away breaks my heart.

7. I resolve to let my girls be sisters and accept that certain things come with that and that I can't control everything they do!

8. I also resolve to accept that I am probably going to tank at most, if not all, of these resolutions...especially number 7!!!!!

So Happy New Year everyone. Good luck to those making resolutions, hats off to those who manage not to and while we are sat by the log fire reliving our happy year in our holiday cottage what will you be doing to ring in the New Year?

Music to see in the New Year chosen by my new guru...Munchkin 1 (my eldest!!)

A little randomness for your Tuesday

Tucked up in bed with my munchkin on a sick day I thought I would take the opportunity to post some random thoughts I had whilst walking last week, noted down in my trust pocket notebook....you never know when an idea will strike ;-)

Regrets.......do you have any?

I definitely don't regret any of the choices I have made in my life. How could I? Each and every choice has brought me one step closer to the life I am living. My beautiful family, a best friend  who is there for me no matter what, some other fabulous friends and an inspirational critique group!

However, I cannot say that I am completely regret free. Along the way I have said one or two hurtful things, lost touch with people I wish I had made more of an effort with. But my main regrets are linked to places.

There are some places that are not quite full enough with memories. These places are linked to times in my life, and the ones that harbour a sense of regret are the times of my life I didn't make the most of. I don't regret the decisions or the outcomes, if I would do the same if I had it to do over again. But I do regret that I didn't grab each and every moment and make the most of them. I didn't fill these places with happiness.

For some places it is too late, they are inexorably linked to a time of my life that is not full enough. For others....we will see, there may be time yet for a couple of memories to push away the sadness. To a certain extent I don't even regret that these places have regrets because it has taught me to enjoy every moment.

Ok now my head hurts

Quick song to leave you with and a question.....can we ever truly be regret free?

Oh come on...there has to be a cheesy song every now and then!!

Good Morning Campers

If you told me a year ago the I would be sleeping on an air bed, a sheet of plastic between me and the outdoor world and a hike to the loos, I would have laughed hysterically!! If you told me I would really enjoy it, I would have had you committed!

During the course of the last year I have surrendered the tight hold I have on 5 star hotels and en-suit bathrooms, as a direct result of pester power! Come on parents, you know what I am talking about!! They wore me down.

In the UK we have two bank holiday's in May; one at the beginning and one at the end, giving us two nice long weekends. The first bank holiday saw us borrow a tent, pack off to a site all of 20 minutes away (just in case it was horrific) all to see if I could hack it!! Guess what, I loved it...we all did, the only thing we wanted to change....a bigger tent. That weekend, the rule was NOBODY ROLL OVER!!!!

This weekend we set off for the second time, our own bigger tent packed up, on our way to the seaside! We pitched in the wind, it was actually quite fun and set up our camp....or maybe we landed. Our tent is huge, although saying that there were others of similar girth by the end of the day, which at least limited the embarrassment I first felt when we put it up!

There is one thing I don't think I will get used to....tent envy! The amount of people that stopped by the tent over the three days we were there, just to ask about the tent and admire it....here's a thought, I wonder if I could charge for tours?!?!

Marcus Humongo Maximums (as named by the Happy Campers)

My favourite part of both trips and a must for every camping trip....toasted marshmallows and warm milky coffees. All we need to do is find a site where we can build a proper campfire!!

One thing checked off the bucket list, some wonderful memories made and looking forward to the next trip.


I'll leave you with this, from the new 30 Seconds to Mars album.....because my other half still knows that music makes me smile!!

What have you guys been up to while I have been AWOL? Any ambitions ticked off your bucket lists??

Fume induced memories

Today I remembered how painting with a roller makes is feel like it is raining inside, however it doesn't taste as good as rain (note to self keep your mouth shut whilst painting)!

I remembered how I love the prickly feeling of rubbing the little dots of paint off your skin.

Also discovered that this hand position makes for a cool shadow puppet crocodile - do you see it or is it just me? (hope the white paint spots show up ok)

But how I don't really love seeing spots!

Not sure you can see the white spots all over my glasses but trust me I can see them!!

 

Finally I realised that although I could clean up my step ladders I don't think I ever will, they wear the map of our lives like a badge of honour. Holding there so many memories of every life change we have ever encountered. I also hope that my Mum never cleans hers either as they map out my life before the other half; the sadness, the hope and the sheer creative flare I had once!

 

Who knew that decorating could hold so many revelations and so such inspiration, off to type up a story that came to me while I wait for paint to dry (well it's got to be better than watching it dry, no?)

The Art of Skimming

I am reliably informed that it is all in the arm! The perfect position, the perfect stone...it is all nothing if not for the correct flick of the wrist.

I don't know about you, but in all my years of trying to get that stone to effortlessly bounce across the water I have always failed miserably. My attempts invariably end in one huge plopping sound and, if I am lucky, a nice fountain of water erupting from the surface where the pebble broke through.

This could be a metaphor for my life. Most of the things I attempt in my life have never been completed with finesse in any sense of the word. Getting up from my preferred cross-legged position on the floor is usually met with rapturous laughter or the attempt to cross the little stream usually ends up with me in the stream rather than at the other side!

Maybe it is time to embrace the plop and endeavour, in all I do, to just make the biggest splash I can and admire the great sound and fountain that I create.

Magic Moment of Today:
For the purposes of today's post I am borrowing an idea from my favourite blog Kicking Corners today I have a magic moment to share, so I hope she doesn't mind!

My magic moment came watching my eldest try to teach my youngest how to skim stones at the beach, when she has absolutely no idea herself! My youngest just abandoned all attempts at finesse in favour of locating the biggest stone to make the biggest splash. The sound of their giggling as the waves forced their retreat was like music. Happy memories all round!