That being said I have struggled for the last week trying to find something to write about or coherently order my thoughts. One walk today, a few moments to myself in the fresh air and I am there, however you are now all going to be subjected to a random assortment of things that have crossed my mind in the last few days:
I'll start with the 'bad news' I don't know about you but when faced with the question 'There is good news and bad news, which do you want first?' I always go for the bad first, jump right in and get it out of the way! Yesterday was the funeral of a wonderful lady who I have know since my Father was ill. Her passing was a shock, the service was simple and perfect, there were tears and a smidgen of regret that adult life has taken over and I have not spent enough time keeping in touch regularly with the people that matter. I thought I would share Mary Frye's poem with you that was read out at the funeral. I always touches my heart.
While I was there I paid a little visit to my Dad, I sat there beating my self up on the inside for not visiting more often and feeling like I failed somehow. However, I realised today on my walk that visiting the square of grass in a cemetery where his ashes just happen to be buried isn't when I really 'visit' him. I 'visit' him every time I remember him, every time I tell my girls about Grandad Neil, every time I remember the good times; which in the end is all you are left with to carry in your heart. When I die I want my ashes to be spread somewhere with good memories, that way when I am 'visited' people will remember the good times and not the sadness!
Ok, morbid talk over! Next you get my random rant. On Saturday in the Guardian Tim Lott wrote about communication in his column and the distinct lack of it in relationships. I realised that this lack of communication is a generally human trait in all relationships; marital, parental, close or generic friedships. We never really say what we are actually thinking! Conversations go a little like this:
"What's up" (real meaning: you ok you seem down and I am worried?)
"Nothing, except the sky" (really want to reply: 'Actually you are really doing my tree in' or 'Well seeing as you have asked I really just want to know what is on your mind and what you are thinking because I am really not sure')
We go through life being polite and bottling up everything that we actually feel and want to say for fear it may offend the person we are talking to and above all else we don't want to jeopardise that relationship by saying what we actually think. Occasionally virtual communication is more open, you can type out what you want to say but then deleteit or re-write if you think you might regret it, a luxury not available in verbal communication. I can't make up my mind if this is actually a healthy way to go through life or not but this is the way we live. May be occasionally we should just say what is on our minds and just see what happens...what do you think?
Finally my motivational slot.....Ahhh but I can't decide between these two so you are getting both, the general gist: seize the day, seize the moment. Say what you want to before the moment has passed, do what you need to do and meet that deadline, reach for the stars and see how far we get.
PS Shameless plug, my friend has completed his latest project and his book is finished, take a look it's amazing but then I am a little biased: Photo's you want to dive into.